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The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo

If you've been here awhile you may or may not know that I am ALL ABOUT THE TIDYING. Actually the more I think about it, the more you may not know that. So here's the deal…ready?

I hate clutter.

I mean, no one LOVES clutter. No one openly thinks, "yes, more clutter please, on every surface with extra piles, thank you." But some people tolerate it better than I do. This blog has seen me through many life stages… college, moving across the country to live with my boyfriend, getting married, sending my husband off on two deployments, moving our belongings by myself twice, buying a house, setting up a house, having a kid and now preparing to have a second kid.

A lot has changed during that time. (Thank God.) But one thing that hasn't changed is every step of the way I have loved getting rid of stuff.

And yet. Despite the many moves and despite the fact that I'm decently ruthless about getting rid of crap, it still accumulates or (more likely) it still sits because we now have the space. This past year though, between capsule wardrobe and revamping my office to fit my new work lifestyle and hobbies I have made a decent dent.

So I was very interested to read Marie Kondo's book and make the final uphill climb to full tidiness (I realize saying that makes me sound insane). It finally popped in my library queue and I read through it over a few days, skimming parts and detail reading others. Let's get one thing out of the way first…this is a SUPER extreme method. I uttered the phrase "OCD, much?" a few times. But I actually think much of it is realistic and helpful (if you're in a place where you want to go through your stuff. If not you'll be stressed out of your mind).

I had a lot of "eye-opening" moments but probably my favorite was the question (and I'm paraphrasing) "do you want your home to be a place of rest or a storage unit?" AHHHHHH! Not a storage unit. I don't want to live in a storage unit. I don't even want to own a storage unit.

Kondo has a very specific method and order that she recommends following to clear out your home. I paid close attention and actually wrote down all the things she suggests to go through, but they I attacked them in a totally different order based on what I had time for. It took me parts of three days to go through the entire house and then another few hours to do the garage. (We've only lived here two years so it's not crazy.)

It's recommended that you tackle categories, not rooms which is brilliant. I went through all the bathroom toiletries at once. All of the books in the house at once. All of the cleaning supplies at once. This helped me find duplicates and stay in the zone. When I was done, all of our cleaning supplies were stored in one place in the garage. All of our medicines were stored on the top shelf in the kitchen. (Ellerie still had toy baskets in three rooms.)

The biggest areas of our house that needed going through were the kitchen and my closet (yes, again, ugh).

Our kitchen is good-sized which means we have been able to store a lot of stuff that we never use and don't need. I got rid of things like the punch bowl we registered for (because I thought I'd be throwing a lot of parties?), a toaster oven that's sat on the bottom shelf for two years and coffee grinder that we upgraded from last year. I rearranged like a crazy person and moved around the pantry shelves to create a flow that makes sense for how we eat and cook. I cleared off the counter tops almost completely. It took forever but made a wonderful difference.

And then the closet. You'll remember I'm three seasons into a capsule wardrobe, which means I wear a small collection of 30-40 pieces each season. I have been storing my "not in season" clothing in big plastic bins in my closet which, according to Kondo, is a bad idea. I thought this through and… I agree.

The clothing in the bins is not being treated great. It comes out rumpled and smelling a bit stale. It bums me out to open the bins, much less wear the clothing. So everything came out. And everything got sorted. I held up each item and tried on a few, asking over and over the recommended question "Does this bring me joy?" Not "did I pay a lot for this?" Not "do I wish I wore this more?" Not "will I wear this again?" Not "can I live without this?" But "DOES THIS BRING ME JOY?"

It's a different question than I have ever asked and it's an interesting one because it disregards all the other crap. It doesn't ask if you have happy memories or if in six months you'll be sad you tossed it. It doesn't ask if you already have four white t-shirts. It just asks if you feel a rush of happiness when you look at it or touch it. That question helped me be the most ruthless yet. (I sent some of my clothing to ThredUp and donated some to Goodwill.)

So now, on the right side of my closet I still have my capsule clothing (which is about to switch to a summer/2nd trimester maternity friendly capsule) and then on the left, I have everything that made the JOYFUL cut. In my dresser drawers I have a drawer of capsule bottoms and then a drawer of everything else. Plus a drawer for undergarments. (My socks are still balled up.)

The biggest cut though was to my toiletries. I have maybe 30 pieces of hair/makeup/skincare products now…total (including nail polish and lipstick). (I'll have to do an updated post on my favorite skincare products.) It wasn't that I was using more than that, it's just that I was storing them. I had, for example, the three eye shadows that were mixed onto my eyelids at my wedding … and haven't been used since. No joy there. It did it's job and now we can move on.

Anyway.

After the big clean out, I was in the kitchen fixing a snack, humming to myself and I was overwhelmed with a feeling of peace.

"I've had this feeling before…" I thought. I remember vividly this exact peaceful feeling that but I couldn't remember WHEN. And then in clicked…

When I was 18, I moved into my college dorm room. It was a nice big room with light blonde wood furniture. I unpacked my clothes, books and bedding. I hung my beloved mementos. I turned the room into "my space." My first, very own (shared with sweet roommate) space. I sat down on my bed and felt at peace.

Everything in that dorm room I loved. I had taken only my favorite things from my childhood home. I had stocked up on "college essentials" at Target. I had packed and unpacked them with great care. I had carefully decided where in the room they would fit best. And now we were here. In this space that was ready for the next adventure.

THAT. That was feeling. That's what I have finally created again (12 years and four homes later) in our San Diego home. Not everything we own is perfect. But everything we own is loved. Everything was chosen. Everything that remains is here because it brings us joy. It's got a place. We have a space.

Ready for the next adventure.

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64 responses to “tidying = life changing?”

  1. Ann Avatar

    Last year I decided to take all of the pens in our house and go through and only keep the ones that a. worked and b. I liked how they wrote. It was so nice knowing that I would never run into a pen I didn’t like or didn’t work again.
    I think I’ll work on this soon. We’re in the middle of an international move and 98% of our stuff is in boxes in a garage until we get a house – but, for the 2% I’m living with I know there’s still stuff I have that don’t bring me joy.

    Like

  2. Kelsey Avatar

    I’ve been interested in this book since you first shared a photo of it (on IG I believe) and am so happy to read this detailed review of it.
    My immediate family is composed of 3 adults and 3 grown-ups living in an average-sized (for where I live) townhouse – we have A LOT of…crap. I’ve been on a de-clutter kick lately, but my desire to get rid of stuff has stayed just that – a desire – because I’m so overwhelmed with where to start. Not that we’re hoarders or anything…
    So. This book. I NEED IT. Sending you a Internet high five for sharing all these details!

    Like

  3. Marieke Avatar
    Marieke

    “It did it’s job and now we can move on.”, love this! Thanks for sharing, I’m adding the book to my list.

    Like

  4. lisa valinsky Avatar

    I’ve been intrigued by this book ever since I heard about it. (Sadly – though happily! – we’ll be away working at a camp all summer, so I’ll have to figure out how to get my hands on a library copy somewhere.)
    Anyway! I so agree with the storing clothes in plastic. I hate having to wash everything after storing it for months because it smells like a storage bin, so I’m all about drawers and closets getting used.
    Thanks for sharing this! Thumbs up emoji!

    Like

  5. Jenna Avatar

    Ahhh this ticks all my boxes! We’re moving in a couple of months and I am SO excited to cull our things and find a perfect home for everything we keep.

    Like

  6. Jennifer D Avatar
    Jennifer D

    “My socks are still balled up.”
    This cracked me up. Because I’ve read the book and know exactly why you added that bit. 🙂
    Overall, I really liked the book. I think Marie Kondo is a wee bit nuts, but in a totally adorable way. 🙂

    Like

  7. Jennifer D Avatar
    Jennifer D

    Definitely read the book and I’m sure you’ll get some good ideas from it. But just to prepare you, Marie Kondo is single and is the only person in charge of the stuff in her home. Some of her ideas are not as effective in a shared space with other people’s stuff. Still a good read and good ideas and can definitely help you pare down your own belongings. 🙂

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  8. Kathleen Avatar

    To be honest, when I first read the title of the book I thought “Yeah, right…” and also the idea of a capsule wardrobe still doesn’t feel like something I could do or enjoy, but the way you explain your process in this post just resonates with me! I want that feeling as well, and I think asking yourself the question if it brings you joy is genius. When I read it, it was like a lightbulb moment for me! Now I’m eager to a) read the book and b) go through ALL of our things here at home!

    Like

  9. Melissa Avatar

    I have this ready to go on my kindle & now I’m super excited to dig in! Hoping that I too feel super inspired to really clear out the excess clutter in our home!

    Like

  10. Sarah Alves Avatar
    Sarah Alves

    Well, I am not convinced to read this book! I have made five moves in the past three years (two of them being cross-country), and I LOVE being “forced” to clean everything out. I now naturally do this every 3-4 months, but there are still areas in my home that could use another look. Thank you for the in depth review!
    Sarah Alves

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  11. Stephanie Avatar

    This sound awesome. I just need to get my boyfriend (who was raised by a lovely lady with horder-like qualities) on board… Challenge accepted!
    Seriously though, thanks for this review and kick in the butt 🙂

    Like

  12. Rossie Avatar

    I would love to see pictures of your accomplishment!

    Like

  13. Melissa Gross Avatar

    Sounds like a good book to read for motivation to declutter, despite the fact that we’re collectors here and will never have it all cleared out. LOL We did a major closet purge a few weeks ago & took over 120 items to our local community outreach – that felt good!
    BTW – I’ve been listening my way through the Elise Gets Crafty podcasts the last few weeks & am really enjoying them! I’ll be posting some of my favorite takeaways soon.

    Like

  14. Lindsay Avatar
    Lindsay

    This cracked me up, too! I’m loving the book but I imagine my socks will also remain balled. Some things are a bridge too far…

    Like

  15. elise Avatar
    elise

    Agreed. The category sorting REALLY helps. As for the other adults, she talks about this a bit… All you can really do is focus on your parts of the space and your stuff. For example, I didn’t tackle Paul’s desk drawers or closet. Everything that we share (kitchen, garage, bathrooms) I sorted and then confirmed he was good to go before tossing. It’s harder with more than one decision maker but it’s doable! Good luck!!

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  16. elise Avatar
    elise

    I agree! She’s endearing.
    I did try her drawer folding method though for pants and so far that’s going well! 🙂

    Like

  17. elise Avatar
    elise

    I know! I need to take some. The main house looks the same. It’s the cupboards and drawers and closets that have improved..

    Like

  18. elise Avatar
    elise

    Thank you!

    Like

  19. Ali Avatar

    I’m so glad you told me to actually buy this one. I think you and I are alike in our ability to declutter regularly – but as you said, her approach is different and it’s totally what I needed for another level of kick-in-the-pants.

    Like

  20. JC Avatar

    I really enjoyed this post and the idea of only having items that bring joy. We are moving into our first house soon and I have been going through everything we own, but after reading this I feel like I could/should/will do it again. We are doubling our space, but I’m afraid it will become so filled with stuff that there wont be room for the life and family that we want to build in the coming years.

    Like

  21. Olivia Brubaker Avatar
    Olivia Brubaker

    So funny, I just encountered this book as well! I agree that it is very extreme, but still contained lots of good ideas. I LOVE getting rid of stuff too. Nice timing that you could do this before baby #2 arrives!

    Like

  22. Anna Avatar

    I TOTALLY know what you mean about the “college dorm room” feeling – I remember feeling exactly the same way with that first little space. I also get that feeling when I’m on vacation, or living abroad for short stints, and get to stock my hotel room with just a few favorite clothes and books.

    Like

  23. Brianna Avatar
    Brianna

    I’m reading the book now and I agree almost completely with her philosophy. I have some stuff living in my parents’ garage, but that’ll be changing soon. I live in an apartment with four other people (not by my choice), but I have my own room and bathroom (thank G-d). I’ve been a little ruthless with the stuff this past week now that school is done and I’ll be going through some more stuff over the weekend. It feels good to purge and keep only what I love. I still have a ton of books, but I’m going to read them and pass them on.

    Like

  24. Amy B. Avatar
    Amy B.

    I am adding this book to my summer reading list. I am a teacher, so summer is my decluttering time! My concern is over stuff that is sentimental…that national championship t-shirt brings me joy, but I don’t wear it much. The art and school work I have collected fem my kids and plan to put into albums, but just haven’t gotten around to yet, will bring me joy once I get it done. Same with the scrapbook supplies I have saved to use “someday.” Problem is in the meantime it’s just clutter. Hoping to gain some insight when I read the book.

    Like

  25. Amy Putkonen Avatar

    This is weird. I saw your baby in tow Maui photo somewhere else this morning and now you have a post about Tidy Lady? Hmm.. You should know that we have a pretty active group on FB right now where we are studying just this book (and SoulSpace too). The group is called SoulSpace Online Book Club. It’s a lot of fun. Together, we are all tidying up our spaces, but it sounds like yours is actually DONE! Whoa. That is great!
    I can relate to that fresh dorm room college feeling. Yeah. When you head off to school and move into your own “first place”, its pretty magical. Cool beans. Hope to see you in the group!

    Like

  26. Corey Avatar

    Oh I am so glad you read through the book and talked about the process. I moved from San Diego to Nashville with only what fit in my car about seven months ago. I think the worst/hardest thing for me would be my closet because I don’t feel like I have money to get stuff I do love and if I got rid of everything that didn’t bring me joy, well… I’d probably have 30 pieces of clothing total. I’m going to be moving to a new apartment in a month and I think it’s time to really go through everything I own once again. It’s exciting. I am ready to create my new space and feel great in it, not just good.
    I also never want to have a storage unit or live in a house that is a storage unit. For a while I thought I never wanted to need more than a small moving van. Furniture is pretty big though, and one day I might like to have some 🙂 So I’ll stick with not having a storage unit and only a house full of things that bring me joy.

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  27. Za Avatar

    I’ve been wanting to read this book for some time now, because I am quite the one with a clutter problem. I’m glad you wrote a post about it, I’ve read good and bad reviews about it but I think I’ll have to read it and de-clutter.

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  28. Sarah Milligan Avatar

    I devoured this book at Christmas. I’m not great at getting rid of stuff/dealing with clutter, yet I am stressed out by clutter and think much more clearly when surfaces are clear and things are minimal. I too loved her suggestion of sorting by categories. It really is brilliant. And her folding method changed my life. I agree that the ‘joy’ sorting method is game-changing. It is such a simpler way of going through things and for me, really streamlines the decision-making process. We move often but have been in the same house for about three years now… I was able to get rid of FOUR VANLOADS of extra linens, kitchen stuff, half my clothes, tons of kid stuff. Like, my van stuffed completely full. I have no idea where it even came from, but it felt so good.
    My one beef with this book is that it doesn’t address dealing with clutter when you are the manager of a household. Marie Kondo isn’t a mother yet, and over and over I felt a gap in perspective because as a mom of three kids aged 3, 7, and 9, I am managing a lot of things that don’t necessarily belong to me yet may bring someone else in my family joy… and as they get older there seems to be a greater and greater influx of stuff. I am constantly getting rid of things, since they’re not old enough to be completely managing this on their own. It’s a great skill to teach them but at this point it is still 90% me managing it and I find that a challenge. I will be interested to see if she writes more books on this topic in the future.
    I must admit my socks are back in balls. 🙂

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  29. SueTR Avatar

    I just finished this book last week, the library queue was so long, I ended up just ordering it from Amazon. I completely agree with your review and the same things resonated with me. I am a “stuff” (mostly books and photos and memorabilia) person, I love my stuff and I don’t want people telling me to get rid of it. That said, clutter drives me nuts and there is plenty of it with two adults and twin 13 year old girl around here.
    I love love love her “does it bring you joy” approach. It goes to one of my favorite quotes by William Morris…”Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful”. I’m so glad to hear Elise that the purging by categories worked for you, that was another big take away. Am working on a big clean out using some of these ideas. Another question we could ask ourselves is…why do we have/buy/accumulate so much stuff in the first place?!
    Loved your Hawaii photos, we loved it (big island mostly) and can’t wait to go back and visit the other islands.
    p.s. can’t wait to order the back to work book for 2016!

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  30. elise blaha cripe Avatar

    I totally agree. I go through my stuff all the time but this was a different (and what hopefully) will be a more permanent level of decluttering. good luck with the move!! 🙂

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  31. elise blaha cripe Avatar

    I know. I know. She addresses the sentimental stuff in a way that is pretty intense, but I thought also helpful. keep that national championship tee!! Just don’t keep four nat champ tees, you know. 😉
    Good luck with the read!

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  32. elise blaha cripe Avatar

    awesome! I think having just those 30 pieces would be worth it. 😉 good luck!!

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  33. elise blaha cripe Avatar

    I know what you mean. I can only imagine it will get harder as my kids get older and accumulate their own stuff. some of the habits are nice to have now but we will see how they change!!!
    I would LOVE to see a book from her in 10 years if she goes the kiddo route. the mama take would be fascinating. 🙂

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  34. elise blaha cripe Avatar

    yes. I think more than anything I realized I DON’T WANT TO BUY MORE STUFF. that alone was a good takeaway!!
    thank you!!

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  35. Luisa Avatar

    I need to read this book. I don’t think we have a severe clutter problem in our house but I am a bit disorganised. I have a lot of art supplies that I don’t use or will never use. I have drawers full of stuff that I kept for “someday”. I wonder if her approach would work with the digital life? Two hard drives of files that I never use?

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  36. cinback Avatar

    We have just begun renovating our laundry room/storage room and so this process of purging comes at a good time for me. I, too, resonate with the concept of ‘joy’. Thank you for sharing.

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  37. Ruth Avatar

    The thing about being in the military is that you get really, really good at packing/unpacking/decluttering. I used to declutter every time I was posted (British RAF for 11 years) and declutter some more when I unpacked at my new posting. (My mum still declutters on a regular basis and she stopped being a military wife some forty years ago).
    Marie Kondo’s book has been on my horizon for a while now, so I went ahead and ordered it as I was reading your post earlier! I also have the idea that as I’m so good at the decluttering lark (ahem, modesty prevails!), I should start my own business helping others …

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  38. Melanie Avatar

    As someone who is kind of insane about “tidying” (I live in 188 square feet!), I didn’t like this book as much as I expected. To be fair, I listened to the audiobook and the reader’s voice was so robotic that I fell asleep listening to it multiple times.
    Anyway, I tried rolling my shirts and now I just avoid putting them away because I hate rolling everything. And I still ball my socks…
    I do like her overall method of living with less, but there’s no way I’m dressing “elegantly” for bed. I’m glad to hear that it is helping some people though.

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  39. Jessica Avatar
    Jessica

    This book is pretty inspiring. I read it a few months ago and it really has made a difference in how I choose items to bring into my house. She is rather severe, but it’s helpful in this context. It made my decision making process much more succinct!
    Would you tell us more of your experiences with Thredup? The reviews online are mixed and I value your opinion.

    Like

  40. elise blaha cripe Avatar

    haha! A bad reader could kill it for sure. and LOL about the elegant crap. I think I didn’t really pay attention to the “living” part and more to the “getting rid of stuff” part. 🙂

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  41. elise blaha cripe Avatar

    I don’t have too much to share other than I have sent them 4 bags of clothes. I have made maybe $300 total and I always take the cash (I don’t spend it buying more clothes through them). So I don’t have a review of making purchases. For me, it’s easier than an IG sale and more lucrative that just a simple goodwill drop off so it’s “worth it”.
    hope that helps!

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  42. L Squared Avatar
    L Squared

    I got the book after you posted about it on IG – so thanks for the follow up post. I really appreciated the idea of thanking your stuff for the joy or service it has given you and then letting go of it. Now I just need to go fill my closet with Joy!

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  43. Brittany Hall Avatar
    Brittany Hall

    I loved this book. The part about clutter being either a “fear of the future” or “being unable to deal with the past” has really resonated with me. I have only done my clothes and accessories and books, but I already feel a weight lifted off of me. And my house wasn’t even that messy! It really does feel like a life changing magic for me 🙂 Although I am folding my socks, my closet is built for mostly hanging items and only 1 chest of drawers, so I made it work for me and I definitely don’t fold everything. I think most people can make this book work for them also. My friend is already borrowing my book as she can see how happy its made me and I’m only a 1/4 of the way done.

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  44. Lucy Avatar

    I will say that once I watched a video of how she folds socks, it made A LOT more sense and takes about the same amount of time as balling a sock. I don’t know that it really makes that much of a difference in the elastic (you’re still folding the sock slightly inside itself) but it does make cute little sock buns if all your socks are ankle length.

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  45. Elizabeth Rosemond Avatar

    Love this! I finished the book a few weeks ago. I really had get past my thoughts of, “shit, she sounded like such a sad little girl” before I could take away anything positive! The mother in me was very concerned about her 🙂

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  46. Taylor Avatar
    Taylor

    I loved this book! The categories part was life changing because seriously, how many times have I gone through my closet and “pared down” when I have three loads of laundry not being accounted for, and a closet full of clothes in another room? I found that some of her stuff wasn’t as applicable for me with having kids (do sippee cups bring me joy?) but overall it was a great read.
    I’m really hoping you do an updated favorite products post!!

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  47. imperfectly natural mama Avatar

    I finished this book a little while ago after you posted about it. I bought it almost instantly and so so glad I did. I haven’t made a dent in our stuff at all yet, but having read the book I know I CAN!! Thankyou so much for sharing that you read this book, I really feel like it’s going to change our lives.

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  48. Jil Avatar
    Jil

    A “wee bit nuts”–yes! I love it when people acknowledge that this book is also fun to read because Kondo is quirky and charming. It also must be said that some people find clutter comforting. Kondo herself admits to turning to objects when people proved disappointing. The whole topic is quite fascinating philosophically. For me, it’s much more than a practical book.

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  49. Kristina Avatar

    I am so excited to read this. Thank you for sharing your review. I think it could be EXACTLY what I need.
    I wanted to ask you something. I wrote a blog post tonight about getting back to reading after what felt like temporary wedding planning insanity. I was wondering if you ever felt overwhelmed during your wedding planning process? I am similarly going the super DIY route, and it has been a lot. But you always seem so calm and collected. And when I re-read your wedding archives, despite everything else going on in your life with Paul, you always seemed to be doing the most amazing job.
    Would love to hear if you have any advice. xoxo

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