enJOY it

an archived personal and craft blog from Elise Blaha Cripe.

Workathomemama

Alright folks. Here comes my second post about the "balance" between being a mom and being a work-at-home business owner. (Read the first one here!) It's filled with some tough stuff because oh man, are these two jobs tough. I thought a lot about "balance" as I mulled over what I wanted to say and realized is that it's such a misnomer. "Balance" implies that work and life are equal. It implies that if you take something from one you give it to the other. "Balance" implies that time can be divided equally or fairly. And let's get real – none of that is true.

So when I talk about "balance," I'm talking more about my strive for sanity. I love my family. I love my job. I make no apologies for either. Without my family I've got nothing. Without my job I don't feel like me. So my never-ending goal is to live a happy life that incorporates both. The six things discussed below are what I know to be true/what works for me.

Practice makes better. I feel like I always say this, but you have to remember I've been blogging for almost 9 years. I can write posts and develop editorial calendars and resize photos in my sleep. I know what I'm doing and I'm comfortable with my voice and so this type of work happens very quickly for me. If you're brand-new to blogging and struggling, you might be thinking "Wow, Elise makes this look easy" but you have to remember, I have a lot of experience and practice on my side. Don't set ridiculous goals like posting six times a week if you're just starting out. Remember that you have to devote effort to this (or any!) craft and over time you get better and more efficient.

Get ahead. I'm always working about a week ahead. What does this mean, exactly? Aside from "around here" or "currently" blog posts, I generally have everything for the blog written and ready to go 3-10 days in advance. For the shop, I generally have the next month's project prepared (like completely finished) before the current month launches. This is how I work because when I'm behind I'm panicking and when I'm panicking I'm not efficient or creative. If you panic when you're behind too, I recommend figuring out a good way to catch up. Maybe this means not blogging for a week to prepare for the next week. Maybe it means deleting all of your emails (responses be damned!). Maybe it means hiring or trading for some help for a few extra hours to gain some momentum.

Sidenote : I got a comment awhile back about how I never seem to "enjoy the moment" and that I appear to be always "looking ahead to the next thing." I suppose if you just know me via the blog you might have that impression, but in real life the opposite is true. I focus on the future and work ahead in my business so that in my every day life with Paul and Ellerie, I can be present and not distracted by the fact that it's 7pm and I have to write tomorrow's post.

Set (and hit) your due dates. I talked about this last time but I cannot stress this enough. You have to be able to set realistic deadlines and more than that you have to be able to hit them. If you continually push back deadlines, you make them meaningless. And when they are meaningless, they become much easier to put off and next thing you know you're on a three hour Facebook stroll down memory lane. Due dates and deadlines are important for collaborations and they are equally important for your own business. Consider and respect your own time just as you consider the time of others. And hey! Stuff happens! If you can't hit a deadline, that's okay. Be honest with yourself and reschedule.

Lock in some dedicated work hours. I've mentioned this, but in 2014 we hired a nanny for eight hours per week. Those eight hours are just for me and my business and it's unreal what having set time has done for my life outlook. Unlike Paul's work schedule or Ellerie's nap schedule, these are guaranteed hours that I can count on which helps me relax during my "free" hours. It may not be practical financially at this point in your business to hire help, but if you're struggling to fit it all in, I would encourage you to pick an set evening that your partner or parents can watch the kids or trade shifts with another mom. Knowing that you have some time that belongs to you is priceless. And then obviously you'll want to make good use of that time.

Be real about your priorities. I spend approximately three minutes "getting ready" physically everyday. This involves brushing my teeth, throwing on an "outfit" and putting on a baseball hat/headband*. Looking super pulled together physically is not a priority to me as compared to actually being super pulled together mentally. I spend 15 to 20 minutes each morning savoring my coffee and cereal while catching up online. That quiet sitting time is a priority to me over straight hair and photo-able outfits. It doesn't really matter what your priorities are, but it matters very much that you think about them and then are deliberate with how you spend your time.

Recognize everyone struggles. Everyone – every single person – has tough days. There is no magic formula. You can't read (or write!) a thousand posts about "balance" and suddenly have it. You just have to start from scratch and adjust, adjust, adjust. Take the tough days for what they are and move on. Take the good days for what they are and throw a party in their honor. Don't compare yourself against anyone. Don't judge your business, marriage or parenting skills against any one else's – especially when the only story you have is what you read online. We're all flawed, we all make mistakes and we all try again to do better tomorrow.

*don't worry, I do shower daily, it's just in the evenings. 😉

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46 responses to “more thoughts on “balance.””

  1. Leah Noble Avatar

    Wonderful, wise, filled-to-the-brim with reality words. Thank you, Elise.

    Like

  2. stephanie Avatar

    Good good thoughts. I’ve been doing this mama/work-at-home thing (+homeschooling) for almost 10 years now and it’s always a struggle to find balance. And what works well right now will most definitely change in six months with the kids change, schedules change, I change. Good reminders here. : )

    Like

  3. Amanda Avatar

    Thank you so much Elise for sharing. You articulated exactly what I’ve been trying to put into words. Dedicated time, that is just mine, that I can count on to focus, work, and enjoy the things that fill me up in addition to my family, is really something I have trouble asking for, but truly makes so much difference to my outlook and work (as you mentioned. Thank you!

    Like

  4. Susan Maldonado Avatar

    agreed showering in the evening is such a reward with a little one when your a stay at home mom!

    Like

  5. heidi @ a week from thursday Avatar

    This is just good advice for any blogger. I’m always in awe that bloggers can “get ahead.” My goal this week is to create an editorial calendar and try to stick with it. Thanks for sharing!

    Like

  6. Erin Avatar
    Erin

    Just to put this out there – I’ve never thought of you as a “not living in the moment” person. I only “know” you through the blog and I’ve been following you for years now and I have to say that I’ve always thought of you as an “in the moment” kind of person. I work the same way… stay ahead of the “to-do” list so that you have time for the “hear and now” without worrying about staying on track.
    Love all your stuff.

    Like

  7. Casey {The Maine Mrs.} Avatar

    Thank you for this post. I work from home and it is a constant struggle to step away from my job and focus solely on my family and vice versa.

    Like

  8. Lisa Avatar
    Lisa

    Thank you. I really needed this today. I am just in the beginning phases of starting my own business and I’ve been feeling a bit lost, and so incredibly slow with everything. This pep talk is exactly what I needed. 🙂

    Like

  9. Emily Avatar

    I cannot believe you’ve been blogging for 9 years, that is nuts! But I’m so glad you’re here and have been, your site continues to be a favorite place on the web for me.

    Like

  10. Brianna Avatar
    Brianna

    Yep. Everything here is completely accurate. I definitely struggle with balance and finding what works for me, but I’m getting better at being more focused and productive. If only I could learn to allow myself some downtime every day…I feel guilty if I’m not multitasking at every moment.

    Like

  11. orange gearle Avatar

    So. Glad. You. Shower. 😉 You are the most living-in-the-moment person I know (that still sets and achieves goals). Go you.

    Like

  12. Meghan Avatar

    I don’t have my own business or any kids, but I think your post has a lot of lessons that still resonate. My favorite is the last one. It’s hard sometimes, especially on the internet which is so curated, to not feel like doubts or fears are not felt by everyone.

    Like

  13. Ashley Avatar

    Wonderful tips. I am a full-time working mom (attorney running my own practice) with baby #2 on the way in May. I’m really working to consistently keep up with my project life and photography hobbies, as well as document them on my blog. Everything you say is true!

    Like

  14. caitlin frost Avatar

    this is great! i’m working right now to get my new shop open and i’m (not so) patiently waiting for our adoption to go through. i love to hear advice from those who have gone before. thanks for sharing!
    http://www.caitlinmfrost.wordpress.com

    Like

  15. caitlin frost Avatar

    this is great! i’m working right now to get my new shop open and i’m (not so) patiently waiting for our adoption to go through. i love to hear advice from those who have gone before. thanks for sharing!

    Like

  16. Lea @ Healthy Coconut Avatar

    I love that you say that you are not looking for balance, but more of your sanity.
    This is how I feel and I couldn’t pinpoint the word that I wanted to express it with. I love reading this.

    Like

  17. shannon Avatar
    shannon

    This is so encouraging and realistic. You are amazing and it is great to see that hard work and enjoying the moment go hand in hand.

    Like

  18. Alice Avatar

    Thank you Elise, these pieces of advice are so wise.
    I really like that you remember us that you have 9 years of experience in blogging regularly and that we shouldn’t compare to others because we only have one side of the story !
    I think also that it’s not because you have a blog that you should do just like other people who have an audience online and growing a business out of their blog. Back in the time when i was struggling to find a job IRL, i was dreaming about having a great blog with a lot of readers, only to realize that this dream was not mine, and that i didn’t really like the bad side of blogging (planning, anticipating) and simply that this was not my talent !
    A few years later i have found my dream job and it’s real, but i still enjoy reading blogs of talented people like you !!!
    Thank you

    Like

  19. Martina Avatar

    I remember when you got that comment about not living in the moment and I remember thinking at the time about now unjust it was – there is nothing at all wrong with being excited about what’s to come in the future that doesn’t mean that you’re enjoying now any less.

    Like

  20. A Avatar
    A

    Loved this post. Thank you! I could be much better about working ahead of schedule in my office job and your thoughts on it allowing you to be in the moment at home really is a new way of framing it for me. Thanks!

    Like

  21. Yvette Avatar

    Precious photo!

    Like

  22. Carolyn Williams Avatar

    I love this! I think it’s important to make time for yourself and your business. I definitely need to set (and hit) deadlines more consistently.

    Like

  23. Ali Avatar

    You rock.

    Like

  24. Brandy Avatar
    Brandy

    Love this post, especially the part about being real about your priorities! So very true.

    Like

  25. belinda young Avatar
    belinda young

    Thank you AGAIN!! These “6” can be used for any passion you are struggling with. Power alone the way but we have to get moving.

    Like

  26. audrey Avatar

    perfectly put! love your honesty.

    Like

  27. Sarah Avatar

    Love this post. One of the things that most impresses me about you is your ability to stick to a plan. I’m great at coming up with plans but not so good at the execution, so this list is great for me to think about what I can improve!

    Like

  28. Debbie Avatar

    Love this Elise. Keeping “on track”, frees you to be present in the moment. Beautifully said!

    Like

  29. Liz Avatar

    Thanks for sharing! As a small business owner, I am still trying to figure the “balance” thing out. I am struggling to maintain a life outside of my work. I love your advice! 🙂

    Like

  30. casie Avatar
    casie

    Thank you for this wonderful post. I work very part time outside of the home but am struggling to find time for my creative projects when I am home. They are important to me. I plan to use your advice to make my project life spreads a priority because they mean so much to me! You are beautiful inspiration!

    Like

  31. Sara Avatar

    Great advice and well thought out. Thank you!

    Like

  32. Ashlee Avatar

    Great tips, momma. I’ve had a few people ask me to blog about this and I’ve had a hard time putting my thoughts into words. You might have just given me the inspiration to sit down and write 😉

    Like

  33. Alanna N Avatar

    Great post Elise and some wise words I think anyone can take awway from. I’m not a mum – but I am still on my own path to finding balance between working, studying, my business and my partner/family/friends etc. Thanks for sharing Elise 🙂

    Like

  34. Renae Avatar

    I love all the points here! I think the takeaway for me is to figure out how to get ahead… I feel like that would make a huge difference. And I can totally see how you can be more in the moment when work isn’t calling your name every second. Also love your point about getting ready in the morning – just getting dressed makes me feel more motivated on my days off, and yes, usually nothing special just skinny jeans & a sweatshirt.
    Thanks so much for sharing!

    Like

  35. Kellie Winnell Avatar

    My girls are at school and I am a work at home mum and find it hard to find balance and I loved the last part of your post, makes complete sense.

    Like

  36. Val@ChickenScratch Avatar

    “balance” is impossible… once you get some sort of schedule figured out…it all changes. But remaining consistent with certain things like your bullet points are the only way to keep it all together. And just being real with yourself. Taking a step back to re-evaluate. Great post girl!!! I had my second baby just 3 weeks after you had miss Ellerie…and at first I was all like “two kids is no big deal…he just falls right into life” HA!!!! Now he is working on crawling and rolling room to room and my older one stopped taking naps and I’m totally disoriented! HAHAHHAH I mean talk about rocking my world…but I have remained consistent in many of your topics (especially working ahead) and THAT is how I’m staying sane over here. 😉

    Like

  37. Sarah M Avatar
    Sarah M

    Great post Elyse. Lots of valuable insight for any situation (not only just for mamas). I don’t have kids (yet) and I’m constantly striving for work/life “balance”.

    Like

  38. liz Avatar

    Have I told you lately how AWESOME you are? Because you are. xoxo

    Like

  39. Dee Avatar
    Dee

    Thank you. I needed to read this today. You are wise way beyond your years…. My children are grown and I am now dealing with an elderly parent and it’s almost the same as being busy with young kids again. Have a wonderful day. 🙂

    Like

  40. Vivid Avatar
    Vivid

    Great post, as usual! As a short, curly haired, busy mom of two and a half, I’d love to see a post on hats. Similar to your scarf and maxi skirt posts. Please, please. All of my hats are from college and so worn from old age or using them while running. I agree with so many above, you’ve never come across as someone who doesn’t enjoy the moment. The person who made the comment must have been a new reader.

    Like

  41. krys72599 Avatar

    That comment you mentioned, the one about “how [you] never seem to “enjoy the moment” and that [you] appear to be always “looking ahead to the next thing.”?
    The most amazing thing about that to me is that someone actually thought they knew you well enough from what you post to make that judgment about you.
    There are 24 hours in a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks in a year. You share a minute, miniscule part of that time, and they think they know you well enough to know what’s in your head?
    Thank you for sharing all you do – it’s so valuable and inspiring. But I would never DREAM to be able to just know what you’re thinking because I’ve read your blog for 3 or 4 years…
    I’m just amazed…

    Like

  42. Vicky Avatar
    Vicky

    Que preciosa que está

    Like

  43. Raquel Avatar
    Raquel

    I love your blog, I look forward to reading it when my hands are free from my 9 month old. I feel like I’ve even struggling to find time to do the stuff I used to do when I wasn’t a mom so reading this post came at a perfect time. 🙂

    Like

  44. nicole @ I am A Honey Bee Avatar

    Love this post! I’m recently back to work (office) and it’s such a juggle, mainly for work things to make up time form leaving early to get her because of daycare hours. But I keep telling myself that it will work out!
    How are you doing with pumping? Is that still something that you are doing when you are working?

    Like

  45. linda Avatar

    Lots of wisdom here, thanks for sharing! Also laughed when you added the note about showering… hehe! I think priorities are the key… we all have 24 hours a day, but we all spend it differently!

    Like

  46. Danielle Avatar

    Great stuff here! Thank you so much! Your preparedness is inspiring!
    Danielle

    Like

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