So far, gestational diabetes is not a big deal. I have had a week of finger sticks. A week of eating my normal diet. And a week of the most shockingly normal blood sugar levels. The only stressor has been making sure I remember what time I finished eating so I know it's been at least an hour and time to test.
My first thought is this is totally absurd. I don't doubt for a second that my body handled 100 grams of glucose in five minutes on an empty stomach terribly. I don't doubt that my results were high and my blood tests put me in the gestational diabetes range. I absolutely don't doubt that diabetes is a very real condition that needs to be taken seriously. I know that being mindful about what I eat is wonderful for the health of my little one and for me. But really, this feels a bit like a case of relying too much science and not enough intuition.
However, I am going to happily stick with the plan and continue to prick my finger and write down what I eat from now until the baby comes. And who knows? Maybe as this pregnancy progresses, my hormones will send my body more out of whack and extraordinary measures will be needed to keep things running smoothly. I am glad for the heads up just in case.
The blessing that has come from all of this craziness – especially the circus that is switching providers at 28 weeks while your husband is deployed and you're trying to set up a house – is that I have become much more relaxed about…everything. Prior to getting pregnant, I had a vision of what pregnancy would be like. I knew I would have a birth plan and belived it was important to find the right person and environment to bring our baby into the world. I am a Planner with a capital P. I imagined I would be frantic about getting the situation all figured out.
Now? Today at 29 weeks? My only focus is staying healthy. And I recognize so much more fully that I already have the perfect person to bring this baby into the the world – me. I'll deliver this baby. Sure, there will be a doctor or midwife in the room (I'm looking forward to having the baby at the Navy hospital with whomever is on call that day) guiding me through the process. But Paul might not make it home in time. The baby might be breech. The baby might be "too big." I might end up with a c-section. The baby might be a week "late" and I might need an induction. Or, the baby might be head down, totally normal sized and I might deliver her in six hours on my due date with no pain medication & Paul by my side because we magically guessed right when we bought his plane ticket home.
But the good news is, I am over the Plan. I am beyond worrying and stressing and worst-case scenario-ing. This baby has been prayed for and planned for and dreamed about for years. Of course I will continue to fight for her and fight for us; the moment I knew she was coming I signed an invisible, but binding contract to do whatever I could to get her here safely. Prick my finger? Any time. Drink 100g of glucose and throw up in front of a waiting room full of people? Happy to. Give up dessert? Obviously. Put a giant red X through "the ideal situation" and embrace our situation? Done and done. Relax my Type A tendencies today, tomorrow and delivery day? Check, check, check. Trust in my body & my baby? Absolutely.
Just eleven weeks to go, baby girl. We got this.
*Photo by Ashlee Gadd Photography from a fun pop-up photo shoot this past Monday. I will have a few more to share soon. Thank you Ashlee!
EDIT : Thanks so much for the encouragement and support. I am so grateful for Blogland.
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