enJOY it

an archived personal and craft blog from Elise Blaha Cripe.

RQpersonal

I often get questions about how I work my personal life into my blog posts – where I draw the line, how I deal with privacy concerns, if I think sharing has helped grow my business, etc. This is a huge topic, and a great one for a reader question post.

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To start, I want to recognize two things :

First, despite all the craft projects, I consider this blog a personal blog. That's how it started and that's how it will end. Everything in this space – the projects, the photos, the editing, the scrapbooks, the recipes, the coding, the design, the writing – is done by me. Everything is crafted and written about because at best I'm passionate about the topic and at the worst, it seemed like something fun to try. I blog because I want to share. But obviously, when I share details about life events (our wedding, trips we take, etc) I provide more personal information. I sometimes share much more than that too and would consider the posts where I share my thoughts and feelings (on marriage, on running my business, on deployment, etc) to be the most "personal."

Second, I think I am lucky in that I started blogging in 2005 when almost every blog was a personal blog. Like most people at the time, I shared anecdotes from my life every few days and included the good, the bad and the ugly. I had no idea that this space would gain an audience or become a career tool. I saw it as a creative outlet where I could share my inspirations, be tastefully self-depreciating and nothing more. I consider it a huge blessing that I learned how to be authentically personal first and authentically business-focused second. It seems much more difficult to try and work backwards. (Though if that's you – I would recommend starting with "around here" & "currently" posts.)

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I know that there is a lot about me (and Paul) on this blog. I do my best to keep specifics about where we live to a minimum, but in reality, I recognize it's not top secret information. I am not too concerned about it. Right now, I feel very comfortable, but this is something that Paul and I will look into more carefully once we have kids and their safety and privacy to consider.

What I share has changed over the years and I have become more thoughtful about what I post. I guess some readers might consider this a bad thing, but I think for me it's just been part of growing up as a writer. I have been blogging for almost seven years. I am (thankfully!) a different person than I was as a junior in college. Going back and adapting my original writing style again would be as impossible as it would to move back into my sorority house and attend classes again (not that I haven't considered it).

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When you share your life online, you open yourself up for a stream of opinions from strangers. This is awesome and terrible depending on the topic. There is a lot of room for assumption on the Internet (though it does no one any good whatsoever). Unlike in the real world, where you can rely on body
language, facial expression and tone to help you get your message
across, in Blogland, your words float forever, to be
interpreted in any way, by anyone. I'll admit that stresses me out a bit.

But, as I have been mulling over this post, I've realized I really need to let go of that stress. In my years of blogging, I received probably 20 rude comments and only a handful of those were mean-spirited enough to really hurt my feelings. On the flip side, I have made some great friendships, built a business, shared helpful insight and most importantly, documented my life. I have worked out many problems and thoughts in this little text box (sometimes I don't really know how I am feeling about something until I start typing) and I know for sure writing has helped me develop emotionally, creatively and professionally.

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While I can schedule posts about craft projects or life events (you can read more about how I do that here), I cannot "plan in advance" personal posts because I have two hard and fast rules :

1. When a personal post doesn't come easy, I don't think it's the post that needs to be written…yet. Usually it means the topic doesn't fully make sense for me and I am still working on it. I have started and stopped many posts over the past few years, not because I worry about how they'll be received, but because I don't know how to write them. As a blogger, I am willing to share my thoughts on difficult topics, but I never fight for posts when they are not ready. I trust that the words will come eventually, and they always do.

2. And completely the opposite, when I have a "personal" or emotional post working though itself in my head, I write it. Immediately. My greatest posts are the ones that take me by surprise and pour out of my fingers. The posts where I cannot do anything but write usually become my favorite. Middle of the night? I get up and sit at my computer. Driving home from the grocery store? I pull over to jot down notes. One hundred other things on my to do list? I push them aside and type. These posts are the magic posts and written quickly, usually after I have just realized something monumental.

Other than that, I draw simple boundaries –

I don't blog (or tweet) mad. And have never once regretted it. This doesn't mean I don't get mad. I get very mad. But I like to work though that anger (or sadness) a bit first before I share here (if I share at all). That's not called "hiding my feelings" it's called, "dealing with my feelings the old-fashioned way."

I don't present Paul in a bad light. Again, this doesn't mean that I always think my husband is the most amazing person on the planet who can do no wrong. It just means that our dirty laundry stays ours.

I try not to take myself too seriously. At the end of the day – this is an online journal. That's it. It is not worth all the stress that I could so easily place onto it and it certainly isn't life or death. There are real problems and there are blog problems and never are those two things the same.


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Blogging is so bizarre and amazing. I love the friendships and connections that I have made while writing here, and for me the good that has come out of sharing bits of my life vastly outweighs the bad. I have had a few ups and downs while finding "my voice", but after almost seven years, it's still a joy to write.

And please know that I am honored my
words are read by you.

Posted in , ,

74 responses to “reader question : sharing the personal stuff.”

  1. Susan Avatar
    Susan

    This is a beautiful post. Thank you.

    Like

  2. Rachel Avatar
    Rachel

    I love this post! I love all your posts! Your blog is always inspiring (I love to re-read your posts about running when I’m feeling unmotivated because they remind me why I love to run!). Thanks for being so genuine!

    Like

  3. Diane Avatar
    Diane

    Great post! I always appreciate your upbeat and honest approach to blogging.

    Like

  4. J3SS1C4 Avatar

    Thanks for this post! I started a blog myself about 6 months ago, and this is something I’ve wondered about. I’m pretty open as well, but I agree with your boundaries too. There are enough negative people in this world as is, without adding to the negativity! And I like that you always present Paul in a good way as well… Last thing people need is to say something mean while angry and then end up regretting it because the thing they were angry about passes.

    Like

  5. Meg Avatar

    Love this post. thanks!

    Like

  6. Nataliya Avatar

    Love this post and specially your two rules about personal posts. I totally know what you mean by just writing when you feel it coming! I never thought of myself as a writer, but have recently got really into blogging. I have days where I have these words in my head, and this sudden urge to just write. And those are the posts that become my favorite. Thank you for always inspiring us!

    Like

  7. Sherlyn Avatar
    Sherlyn

    Elise, You’re an awesome person with an awesome soul. Honestly, whilst preparing for my wedding I have broken down a million times just trying to power through it. Yet, I reminded myself that you’ve done it, so all i need to do is to stick with it.
    Thank you for being such an inspiration.

    Like

  8. Karyn S Avatar
    Karyn S

    What a great post Elise 🙂

    Like

  9. Bernice Avatar

    Just wanted to say how truly appreciative I am of your Reader Question posts. The amount of thought you put into these posts really reflect how much you care about your readers. Thank you 🙂

    Like

  10. Ang Avatar
    Ang

    I am sorry for any hurtful post you’ve gotten. That’s just sad. Your blog, all of it, the style, pics, your words, etc. are ALL honest & joyful. You have only ever made me smile – even if I’m reading about a quilt and I never plan on making a quilt in my life. lol I don’t even remember how I “found” you a couple months ago, it must have had something to do w/PL – but I’m so glad I did. I’ve visted & enjoyed many blogs but rarely do I subscribe to them or visit them as regularly as yours. Today in particular I’m feeling very disappointed in people in general. Not anyone close to me, just people I come in contact with. In the last hour I’ve had a kind word from 3 different co-workers and I read this post and all made me smile and I’m feeling much better about people now. 🙂 Thank you for sharing!! (Yeah, sometimes I read your blog at work… but they’re quick reads!) 😉

    Like

  11. Susi Davis Avatar

    I have loved your blog since I followed a link on Marta Writes to your blog a couple of years ago. You are a great writer and I look forward to some day reading your book. Your blog inspires me, challenges me and sparks my creativity. Thank you for creating such an authentic and unique blog!

    Like

  12. Melanie Avatar

    Good to hear your perspective! I agree with others who commented, your 3 boundaries are just plain good advice for everybody!

    Like

  13. Judy Avatar
    Judy

    I love your blog and appreciate everything you put into it. I have learned so much from you and you have helped me to tap into my own creative self. I think the way you tie the personal stuff into the creative ie: home decor or journaling a trip, makes your blog so much more interesting.

    Like

  14. Sandra Avatar

    I’ve kept this post in my feedreader to read when I really have time to enjoy it and think about it since I knew it definitely would make me think….Love your honesty here (as always)! The personal posts are the ones I struggle most with…I usually think my life is too boring and noone would ever be interested in reading my opinions and thoughts on whatsoever… I guess I have to change my personal view on this blog-thing and maybe write more for ME…to document the issues I’m having..to document change and emotions and insights.. Yes. And I already know where to start actually 🙂
    Thanks for the ongoing inspiration (creativity-wise and life-wise) you provide! 🙂 I alyways enjoy reading your blog!

    Like

  15. Rae Avatar

    Love reading all you have to share!
    Regards,
    Rae

    Like

  16. Constance Avatar
    Constance

    I am usually inspired by your creativity. This blog entry’s a little different, yet it, too, is inspiring. Quite nice, actually …

    Like

  17. Tammy T Avatar

    This post is one of the reasons you are one of my favorite blogs. You are so clear with your intentions, and I always feel I “know” you in a way that feels appropriate and real. Love that you are sharing your knowledge too. I feel at the heart you are somewhat of a great teacher! So thank you, I would bring you an apple if I could!
    Tammy

    Like

  18. kate Avatar

    elise I’m new to your blog reading and i love, love it. i love the little peaks into your life. if i’m feeling down, i scan back through and it brightens my spirits. it’s truly a lovely little corner of the internet. your projects are inspiring. and i can’t wait to continue to watch your life change over the years. thanks for putting yourself out there.

    Like

  19. Joanna @ things after the rings Avatar

    Great post, Elise! Thank you for your honesty. I love your point about personal topics not coming to you and how that means that you’re still working it out. I often think of topics that would make great posts but the actual text for the post just doesn’t come. Reading your words I had an “ah-ha” moment that I just haven’t completely processed that issue or thought yet and it will come soon enough. Thanks for sharing.

    Like

  20. Giusep.pina Avatar

    I always adore these kind of posts. Thank you for being real and for sharing.
    ps. Although the summer has passed would you still consider a lunch semi-reunion?? 🙂

    Like

  21. Laura Dembowski Avatar

    Such a lovely post! Blogging is definitely a complicated thing, but I think you have some great boundaries and points. I’m still discovering where those boundaries lie for me.

    Like

  22. Saver Parisi Avatar

    Hi Elise. The first time I read your blog, I already felt the sincerity of your write ups. You are such a wonder blogger and I love the way you express yourself. I agree with you that when you share your life online, you open yourself up for a stream of opinions from strangers. Sometimes there are opinions that are not good to hear but I think it will help us to examine things more. You’re such a great artist and I believe you’ll be successful on whatever field you have chosen.

    Like

  23. Gulbranson Schlegel Avatar

    I’ve always got awesome tips from your blog every time I visit, Elise. You are an inspiration and I’m thankful that I found you. Keep on inspiring us. 🙂

    Like

  24. Delariva Donato Avatar

    Thanks Elise for sharing your personal life’s experiences. A great post that I could learn many things!

    Like

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