enJOY it

an archived personal and craft blog from Elise Blaha Cripe.

RQpersonal

I often get questions about how I work my personal life into my blog posts – where I draw the line, how I deal with privacy concerns, if I think sharing has helped grow my business, etc. This is a huge topic, and a great one for a reader question post.

Personal2

To start, I want to recognize two things :

First, despite all the craft projects, I consider this blog a personal blog. That's how it started and that's how it will end. Everything in this space – the projects, the photos, the editing, the scrapbooks, the recipes, the coding, the design, the writing – is done by me. Everything is crafted and written about because at best I'm passionate about the topic and at the worst, it seemed like something fun to try. I blog because I want to share. But obviously, when I share details about life events (our wedding, trips we take, etc) I provide more personal information. I sometimes share much more than that too and would consider the posts where I share my thoughts and feelings (on marriage, on running my business, on deployment, etc) to be the most "personal."

Second, I think I am lucky in that I started blogging in 2005 when almost every blog was a personal blog. Like most people at the time, I shared anecdotes from my life every few days and included the good, the bad and the ugly. I had no idea that this space would gain an audience or become a career tool. I saw it as a creative outlet where I could share my inspirations, be tastefully self-depreciating and nothing more. I consider it a huge blessing that I learned how to be authentically personal first and authentically business-focused second. It seems much more difficult to try and work backwards. (Though if that's you – I would recommend starting with "around here" & "currently" posts.)

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I know that there is a lot about me (and Paul) on this blog. I do my best to keep specifics about where we live to a minimum, but in reality, I recognize it's not top secret information. I am not too concerned about it. Right now, I feel very comfortable, but this is something that Paul and I will look into more carefully once we have kids and their safety and privacy to consider.

What I share has changed over the years and I have become more thoughtful about what I post. I guess some readers might consider this a bad thing, but I think for me it's just been part of growing up as a writer. I have been blogging for almost seven years. I am (thankfully!) a different person than I was as a junior in college. Going back and adapting my original writing style again would be as impossible as it would to move back into my sorority house and attend classes again (not that I haven't considered it).

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When you share your life online, you open yourself up for a stream of opinions from strangers. This is awesome and terrible depending on the topic. There is a lot of room for assumption on the Internet (though it does no one any good whatsoever). Unlike in the real world, where you can rely on body
language, facial expression and tone to help you get your message
across, in Blogland, your words float forever, to be
interpreted in any way, by anyone. I'll admit that stresses me out a bit.

But, as I have been mulling over this post, I've realized I really need to let go of that stress. In my years of blogging, I received probably 20 rude comments and only a handful of those were mean-spirited enough to really hurt my feelings. On the flip side, I have made some great friendships, built a business, shared helpful insight and most importantly, documented my life. I have worked out many problems and thoughts in this little text box (sometimes I don't really know how I am feeling about something until I start typing) and I know for sure writing has helped me develop emotionally, creatively and professionally.

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While I can schedule posts about craft projects or life events (you can read more about how I do that here), I cannot "plan in advance" personal posts because I have two hard and fast rules :

1. When a personal post doesn't come easy, I don't think it's the post that needs to be written…yet. Usually it means the topic doesn't fully make sense for me and I am still working on it. I have started and stopped many posts over the past few years, not because I worry about how they'll be received, but because I don't know how to write them. As a blogger, I am willing to share my thoughts on difficult topics, but I never fight for posts when they are not ready. I trust that the words will come eventually, and they always do.

2. And completely the opposite, when I have a "personal" or emotional post working though itself in my head, I write it. Immediately. My greatest posts are the ones that take me by surprise and pour out of my fingers. The posts where I cannot do anything but write usually become my favorite. Middle of the night? I get up and sit at my computer. Driving home from the grocery store? I pull over to jot down notes. One hundred other things on my to do list? I push them aside and type. These posts are the magic posts and written quickly, usually after I have just realized something monumental.

Other than that, I draw simple boundaries –

I don't blog (or tweet) mad. And have never once regretted it. This doesn't mean I don't get mad. I get very mad. But I like to work though that anger (or sadness) a bit first before I share here (if I share at all). That's not called "hiding my feelings" it's called, "dealing with my feelings the old-fashioned way."

I don't present Paul in a bad light. Again, this doesn't mean that I always think my husband is the most amazing person on the planet who can do no wrong. It just means that our dirty laundry stays ours.

I try not to take myself too seriously. At the end of the day – this is an online journal. That's it. It is not worth all the stress that I could so easily place onto it and it certainly isn't life or death. There are real problems and there are blog problems and never are those two things the same.


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Blogging is so bizarre and amazing. I love the friendships and connections that I have made while writing here, and for me the good that has come out of sharing bits of my life vastly outweighs the bad. I have had a few ups and downs while finding "my voice", but after almost seven years, it's still a joy to write.

And please know that I am honored my
words are read by you.

Posted in , ,

74 responses to “reader question : sharing the personal stuff.”

  1. Thea Avatar
    Thea

    Awesome post.

    Like

  2. Krys72599 Avatar

    Probably one of my favorite posts, ’cause we all wonder how other people think… My favorite lines?
    “I don’t blog (or tweet) mad. And have never once regretted it. This doesn’t mean I don’t get mad. I get very mad. But I like to work though that anger (or sadness) a bit first before I share here (if I share at all). That’s not called “hiding my feelings” it’s called, “dealing with my feelings the old-fashioned way.”
    “I don’t present Paul in a bad light. Again, this doesn’t mean that I always think my husband is the most amazing person on the planet who can do no wrong. It just means that our dirty laundry stays ours.”
    “I try not to take myself too seriously. At the end of the day – this is an online journal. That’s it. It is not worth all the stress that I could so easily place onto it and it certainly isn’t life or death. There are real problems and there are blog problems and never are those two things the same.”
    Words EVERY blogger should read, along with your comments about the rude or hurtful posts… My response? Consider the source. I’m constantly amazed by the nastiness out there in comment-land. If you don’t like what someone wrote or how someone writes or what they write about, WHY ARE YOU AT THEIR BLOG?????

    Like

  3. Caroline Avatar
    Caroline

    You are so awesome. It is a pleasure to read your blob every morning.

    Like

  4. jodi Avatar

    i love reading your blog every day. thank you so much for sharing so much of yourself with us.

    Like

  5. Ashley Marie Avatar

    Great post to wake up to! I love your “three simple boundaries”.

    Like

  6. Pink Ronnie Avatar

    What a well-written post from the heart! I agree with everyone above, I love reading your blog every day (well night, I log on here at 10pm in Sydney every evening because I know that’s when your posts go online!). I love the simple boundaries that you’ve outlined – very wise ones too!
    Ronnie xo

    Like

  7. worqshop Avatar

    great post! I always feel so inspired and happy after eading your posts, and those blog and businness related are my favourite! So important to take things easy! Hugs from istanbul!

    Like

  8. Misti Avatar

    I recently read some comments on a mothering blog regarding a very popular mom/craft blogger and while the topic started by talking about how they felt insignificant next to this said blogger, it quickly changed into a very mean spirited and hateful thread. My very thoughts were your last sentence—WHY ARE YOU AT THEIR BLOG?
    Elise, I’ve been reading your blog for many years, mostly because I’d been scrapbooking a lot way-back-when, but I stick around now because you have great content still. Recently I found my little scrapbook pages to a weekly prompt series you did I think in 2007. I never finished the year out with the prompts, but I’m glad to see what I did do.

    Like

  9. Emily S Avatar
    Emily S

    great words. I have been reading your blog for a while, since the days of 2Peas, and your writing now is your best yet. Especially on the “personal” posts. You have a great voice. Reading your blog is a joy!

    Like

  10. Marcia (123 blog) Avatar

    I LOVE THAT FIRST PIC!
    and I also love your boundaries 🙂

    Like

  11. Elizuhbeth_ruth Avatar

    This is such an inspiring post! I love your blog, it’s the first one that is on my flipboard which, by the way, you introduced me to and I love it! Thanks for this post and all your other personal ones, I feel like I know you even tho I’ve never met you! Haha anyways have a great day! 🙂

    Like

  12. Julia Avatar

    thanks for sharing… i often struggle with knowing the balance of being honest and TOO honest:)

    Like

  13. EE K. Avatar

    I have been following your blog since almost the beginning and I love how real you are. Thanks for sharing your insight and keep on keeping on! ox

    Like

  14. katie Avatar

    Lovely look at the process of sharing your self and your life in the blogosphere, Elise. As someone with a personal/craft/cooking blog, it’s something that I think about a lot as well. I don’t have nearly the readership that you do, which provides me some level of “safety,” if you will, in terms of feeling like I’m really putting it all out there. But I don’t think it would change that much if I had more readers. Like you, the posts that I love the best, the ones that make me feel most alive, are the ones I HAD to write.
    Thanks for sharing! As always, absolutely love your blog.

    Like

  15. Jessica B Avatar

    I love reading your blog each day! This is a great post. Thank you for sharing.

    Like

  16. indigorchid Avatar

    I enjoyed reading this post – it really resonates with me, and is actually inspiring me to be more open! Thank you.

    Like

  17. Amelia Avatar

    Thank you for your thoughts and honesty. Thank you for making me think about my blogging. I thoroughly enjoy reading each of your posts.

    Like

  18. -Michelle Avatar

    I feel cheated Elise. And disappointed. Very disappointed.
    I went looking for an older post about working at Paper Source and I found this:
    http://eliseblaha.typepad.com/golden/2007/07/san-diego.html
    YOU PROMISED. YOU PROMISED you would climb that palm tree. And I read all of your San Diego posts and not once NEVER did you affirm you had, in fact, climbed that palm tree.
    Man, I feel all out of sorts now. Cheated, in a way…. I’m sitting in the corner and pouting right now.

    Like

  19. Caity Avatar
    Caity

    Such a great post. I’ve been reading your blog since you were still in school (even though I don’t comment very often, I really am reading!) and have really enjoyed seeing your writing and style grow whether you are sharing something very personal or your latest project. Keep up the great work!!!

    Like

  20. Stephanie Howell Avatar

    Awesome post, Elise.

    Like

  21. Michelle Elford Avatar
    Michelle Elford

    Elise, I think you are one of the most genuine and authentic bloggers out there and that’s the main reason I have been reading your blog for so long. You somehow manage to not get caught up in the blogging BS that goes on elsewhere and I really appreciate and notice that.
    I hope you are able to keep it up for a long time!!

    Like

  22. Erica Avatar

    One of the very best posts I’ve read in a long time.

    Like

  23. Christa Avatar

    What a great read for this morning, Elise. I am a pretty new reader, and I am so thrilled to have found your blog! For me, this post was a great reminder to be authentic — something a lot of us can probably use a little kick in the pants about every now and then!

    Like

  24. elise blaha Avatar

    well… what can I say… I failed OR maybe I did climb a palm tree and just decided not to post about it. 😉

    Like

  25. jen kinkade Avatar

    I always feel energized after reading one of your posts!
    To create, to write, or to just be.
    You seem so fab and grounded and mature with what you do and how you approach life.
    Congrats on wonderful blogging!!
    And sharing yourself with us! 🙂

    Like

  26. krugthethinker Avatar

    This is such a lovely post, Elise! You are such an inspiration and model for all of us–thanks for sharing!

    Like

  27. Giulia Avatar

    it’s lovely to read your blog every day 🙂

    Like

  28. carrie wohlt Avatar

    what a sweet post elise as always a great read! you have been so inspiring to me and have helped me to JUST GO FOR IT! whether it be blogging,scrapping or working on some project. Always look forward to reading your blog every morning. Having fun reading the old blog posts as well.

    Like

  29. clementine Avatar

    I recently discover your blog and I read a lot of your archives post. I love your blog very much and check it every day. Thanks for sharing all your craft and post, you are such an inspiration person. Thank you.

    Like

  30. Christie Elkins Avatar

    Fantastic words of wisdom and I totally concur as a fellow blogger! Don’t you just love those moments when time stops and you MUST write right then or the words will leave you? Amazing stuff.

    Like

  31. Corey Avatar

    I realized as I was about to like this post via bloglovin that I rarely comment on this blog, if I ever have. I just want you to know you’re in my like top 5. maybe even top 3, it’s hard for me to tell sometimes. But I really enjoy the honesty and the simplicity of your blog. I love it! And I’m really excited to make a quilt now. So thank you, for writing.

    Like

  32. Sara Burns Avatar

    I really enjoy your posts. I check most days to see what new things are going on. I’m excited to get your stamps in the mail! Your pictures of crafts are very inspiring.

    Like

  33. Skye Avatar

    Love, love, love this post! As others have said, your genuine writing is one of the things I love most about your blog. Your awesome projects and the peeks into your life make your blog one of my favorites. Thank you for sharing so much with your readers.

    Like

  34. Wendy N Avatar

    Here, Here, great blog post!

    Like

  35. Shannon R Avatar
    Shannon R

    Great post! I have to say that your blog has become one of my favorites and it is because I can tell that you are authentic and honest in your posts. So thanks for being you!

    Like

  36. Hillary Avatar

    Great post. I appreciate your honesty. 🙂

    Like

  37. Leah Avatar
    Leah

    I agree with this 100%. I read your posts and want to do SOMETHING as a result. That something is always different, but the fact is that what you post makes me feel like I can accomplish something too!
    Thank you!

    Like

  38. sophie Avatar

    thank you for sharing some insight into how your deal with “personal” issues on your blog. this space is truly one of the blogs i visit on a daily and look forward to reading.

    Like

  39. AniKohar Avatar

    Thanks for posting this one Elise. The blog-fates have put this one in front of me at the right time. 🙂
    I’m going through all kinds of personal stuff right now (including getting married in just 10 days!!) and blogging about it all has been confusing. As a new blogger, I’m trying to keep it going, keep my readers into it, but instead, I’m just backing down and not writing. Writing has always been what I’ve done, and I need to remember that at the end of the day, this blog is for me.
    Reading about your blog in “Artful Blogging” about a year ago is what got me serious about putting my life out there on the web. So thank you, two-fold, for keeping me inspired! Off to write a blog!
    XO
    Ani

    Like

  40. AniKohar Avatar

    Thanks for posting this one Elise. The blog-fates have put this one in front of me at the right time. 🙂
    I’m going through all kinds of personal stuff right now (including getting married in just 10 days!!) and blogging about it all has been confusing. As a new blogger, I’m trying to keep it going, keep my readers into it, but instead, I’m just backing down and not writing. Writing has always been what I’ve done, and I need to remember that at the end of the day, this blog is for me.
    Reading about your blog in “Artful Blogging” about a year ago is what got me serious about putting my life out there on the web. So thank you, two-fold, for keeping me inspired! Off to write a blog!
    XO
    Ani

    Like

  41. Elizabeth M Avatar

    You are an excellent blogger! As a person who is just starting their blog it is wonderful to hear all of the things you stated 🙂

    Like

  42. -Michelle Avatar

    🙂
    I’m eating a snickers to console myself.. it is not the same…

    Like

  43. -Michelle Avatar

    PS. You would not even THINK about climbing a palm tree without writing the blog post in advance in your head… admit it!!

    Like

  44. Kathy L Avatar
    Kathy L

    You may feel honored that we read your blog, but I feel honored that you put it out there and that you are willing to share your life and ideas with us.
    On the more personal side, and really none of my business, but I am going for it any way…pretty as you are, and you are so lovely in every way, do you know that you would look absolutely amazing with bangs? There I’ve said it and I hope that you won’t take offense…love you Elise!

    Like

  45. Allison Avatar

    Thank you for posting a thoughtful response to this question. I enjoy your posts about your life and work the best.

    Like

  46. nichole Avatar
    nichole

    You are amazing, seriously. Thank you for being an example.

    Like

  47. Meagan Ramsey Avatar

    So insightful! I value these words of wisdom as I am attempting to start my own personal blog — thank you for this!

    Like

  48. elise blaha Avatar

    haha – you are so sweet. But never in a million years would I go for bangs. I have a big forehead for sure, but my hair is not the right type. 🙂

    Like

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