enJOY it

an archived personal and craft blog from Elise Blaha Cripe.

around here.

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We have now been home together in our "normal" lives for about a week.

The short story is everything is wonderful.

The long story is there is more to it than just that.

Some moments are hard. Some moments I burst into tears. Some moments I am frustrated. Some moments I really struggle to find balance between the girl that I was pre-deployment, the girl that got through the deployment and the girl that I am now.

It's not easy re-fitting two different people into one house.

It wasn't when we first moved in together almost five years ago and it isn't always now.

Thankfully, today, I have hindsight and perspective on my side. I have growth, maturity and a deeper faith in us. Thankfully, today, Paul continues to be a rock. He's the best.

And really, there is so much good. So much it is overwhelming. My partner is home. My house is warmer, my meals better, my entertainment livelier, my life fuller. I am choosing to be patient. With myself and with Paul. I am choosing to be calm. I am choosing to be more deliberate in the things that I say and the way that I act.

I am relearning how to balance. I am relearning how to share space & time with someone else. I am learning how to manage both my independence and my dependence. It's like kindergarten at the Cripe house only instead of milk and cookies, we have red wine and phenomenal burgers.

And so the long story is really just that "wonderful" takes work. All good stuff does.

p.s. that art print is by Austin Kleon for 20×200 & I think that quote on the tag is correctly attributed.

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39 responses to “around here.”

  1. Melanie Avatar
    Melanie

    You continue to hit the meaningfulness of daily life on the head. Your willingness to be constantly learning, always growing is so inspiring and challenging. Wonderful definitely takes work; thank you for expressing the flip side of a blogger’s life.

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  2. Kellie Avatar
    Kellie

    “wonderful takes work”…amen to that! thanks for sharing!! i honestly needed to be reminded of that.

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  3. JayEssJay Avatar
    JayEssJay

    Reminds me of those afternoons when I’m so anxious for my husband to get home from work, only to find that he’s cramping my style ten minutes after he walks in the door. It’s in those moments that I remind myself to take a chill pill and be grateful for everything I have.

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  4. Sara Avatar
    Sara

    I feel a bit like that after a business trip and 10 years of marriage, let alone a deployment. I can imagine you have six months of fears and other emotions to process with him. It seems like you’ve earned the right to some tearful outbursts. Oh, and btw your idea of writing right on your instagram book is brilliant.

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  5. Jessica at Kids Napping? I'm Scrapping! Avatar
    Jessica at Kids Napping? I’m Scrapping!

    I so appreciate your honesty. It is definitely hard work to have 2 people come together and share the same space. Sometimes my priorities aren’t his priorities… nor my preferences his. To compromise (sometimes even give in) is a good challenge though. It makes for good growth. I find it funny when my husband refers to me as his roommate. The other day when my sisters were discussing the pain of having roommates, he said, “My ‘roommate’ has scrapbook stuff everywhere!”
    Thank you for sharing!

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  6. nicole : three by sea Avatar
    nicole : three by sea

    “Wonderful takes work.”
    That needs to be a print.

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  7. :: clairevbee :: Avatar
    :: clairevbee ::

    This is so true. Lovely meaningful post Elise xo

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  8. Rose Avatar
    Rose

    Thank you. I needed that reminder.

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  9. Katie Avatar
    Katie

    I second that! Definitely needs to be in print.

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  10. Sara Avatar
    Sara

    Thank you, Elise, for being wonderful – your posts make my day. And they continue to inspire me to be a better person, for me and for my amazing boyfriend.

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  11. Jennifer D Avatar
    Jennifer D

    Yes.

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  12. Jessi Avatar
    Jessi

    I always love your honesty and your perspective! The first month back together is always rough. There is the 2 week homeymoon phase and then all of a sudden, all the issues that weren’t resolved before deployment come back into the picture. And it’s definitely hard weaving your lives back into one when you’ve been apart for so long. But it happens and quick. And it really helps when you have a strong marriage 🙂 I wish you both the best and am so glad that you’re together again, safe and sound.

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  13. Erica Avatar
    Erica

    Yes! I don’t think military families ever talk about this part enough. Suddenly having the person back your day-to-day life is awesome, but also a major disruption to all the routines you didn’t realize you created while they were gone. They need time to adjust to the evolving you and you need time to adjust to having them around too!

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  14. Skye Avatar
    Skye

    I agree!

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  15. ~Kristina Avatar
    ~Kristina

    Love that print and how you describe everything so well. “like kindergarten” – just perfect!

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  16. desiree Avatar
    desiree

    I can relate only a little, I was gone for 6 weeks at the beginning of our marriage and that was hard….I can’t imagine how much harder it is when people are gone for months! Keep going it does take work 🙂

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  17. Monica Avatar
    Monica

    It’s definitely an adjustment when they come back from deployment and you’re right that it still takes work. Thanks for being so honest with us.

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  18. Kim Avatar
    Kim

    Making adjustments like this can really tell you a lot about the strength of your relationship. It’s good that you can work together to figure out how it all is going to fit.

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  19. Michelle Avatar
    Michelle

    Great post.
    GO NAVY!

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  20. nichole Avatar
    nichole

    I wish you the best. It is hard balancing a super busy life and a relationship, but you seem to be awesome at time management. You’ll figure this out. 🙂

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  21. Ashley Brimeyer Avatar
    Ashley Brimeyer

    you’re the coolest. thanks for your honesty [and killer everyday images]. you inspire me in more ways than you’ll ever know, elise!

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  22. libbywilko Avatar
    libbywilko

    Thanks for such an honest post, keep going and be gentle with each other….
    And not just good burgers… That pizza looks delish! Love reading your blog.

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  23. Megan Anderson Avatar
    Megan Anderson

    Love that last photo of Paul. You wrote that he came back super addicted to coffee so it really captures the message of the post 🙂

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  24. Jocelyn Avatar
    Jocelyn

    Elise,
    What I love about your blog is your honesty. Relationships are difficult, no matter how much love is there. Actually, I think the more love, the more challenging the relationship can be. Because if you didn’t love and care about the person, you wouldn’t care what they did or how the relationship evolved.

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  25. tammy t Avatar
    tammy t

    I hope you don’t think this is an obnoxious comment, but I think you are adorable. And I love and admire your transparency. I wish you all the best in this transition.
    Tammy

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  26. elise blaha Avatar
    elise blaha

    Not at all! That is a very sweet comment. Thank you

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  27. Laura Avatar
    Laura

    Elise, when we were first married my husband was in the Navy and deployed frequently (his deployments were three weeks home, three weeks gone though). We were young, married right out of college, and looking back I have to say although it was tough having him gone more than he was home, I think it made us a better couple. It taught both of us independence, learning that it’s healthy to have a life outside of your relationship with each other, something we still carry with us almost twelve years later. Welcome home to Paul and best wishes to you both.

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  28. Naomi Avatar
    Naomi

    New to commenting, but would love the background behind the second image … awesome.
    You are brave for insisting that you find your balance instead of letting life happen to you .. kudos!

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  29. Kathy Martin Avatar
    Kathy Martin

    So eloquently written! With love, patience and commitment you cannot fail. Much happiness to you both! Enjoy!

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  30. em Avatar
    em

    The adjustment must be odd as you moved there alone and you’ve had it as your space – are you territorial about things being in the right places? my boyf returned after 5 1/2 weeks away {which I know isn’t v long} but the house is now a massive mess and full of the noise of the xbox but it is also full of hugs and very importantly the smell of him cooking wonderful things. I imagine my joy at his return will be less so when he put footy on rather than ‘homelands’ tomorrow! x

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  31. Amanda Avatar
    Amanda

    You are so wise, Elise. I feel as though I have learned so much by reading your blog – your newer posts and your archives.
    On another note, I love that last photo of Paul drinking coffee. So simple AND meaningful!

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  32. elise blaha Avatar
    elise blaha

    It is a print from 20×200. 🙂 I included a link to the artist at the bottom of the post.

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  33. Heather Avatar
    Heather

    Yep, Elise. I wish every deployed couple knew the wisdom of this post. So many people expect the Disney “happily ever after” post-deployment but it is hard to be successfully alone and then to tuck away those fabulous skills you learn while they are gone. After 4 deployments, you expect it more, joke about it in advance and get through it alittle quicker. Thank you for being so transparent. I always feel like I am sitting down for coffee with another Navy wife across the table when I come to your blog 🙂

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  34. Acompton Avatar
    Acompton

    elise. you are simply perfect. I wish you luck and patience as you two transition together. My husband and I have been together for 5 years now and there’s still moments where its hard. But that’s the best thing about being with someone, the hard stuff goes hand in hand with the absolute WONDERFUL stuff!

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  35. alexandra Avatar
    alexandra

    My husband and I have been married for more than 13 years now – he’s a teacher and we still have issues almost every time he is on holiday – and that’s quite frequently!! It has actually been a running joke with some of our friends.
    I can only imagine what you and Paul both go through in this type of transition – lots of recalibrating to do I’m sure. You will find your new normal and it will be even better than before. Change + growth = good.
    And, like you said, “wonderful takes work” and all the good makes it so worth the work.
    Your honesty is wonderfully refreshing – thank you. I think you’re awesome : )

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  36. Chrystina Avatar
    Chrystina

    Ah yes, overwhelming emotion. That’s usually when you reach the point when you’re either laughing or crying because there’s nothing left to do…
    And then after all of that is over, you begin to figure stuff out. I absolutely adore your honesty – good luck finding balance and continuing your story!!

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  37. ali Avatar
    ali

    thanks for sharing your thoughts. This doesn’t just happen to military families.
    The ‘toing and froing’ of waves in a relationship, the low and high tides and the sound of the waves crashing on shore.
    Sometimes those waves are gentle, calm waves cruising up the sand, sometimes that crash against the cliffs with such force.
    Everyday there a moments of wonderful and moments of uneasiness – you are right you have to work to find that balance.

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  38. Amanda S. Avatar
    Amanda S.

    I’ve felt that several times over our 10+ year relationship. Every time life shifts on us – jobs change, schedules change – the readjusting takes time. I look back and I’m grateful for all those shifts. They have made our relationship stronger, our marriage better and our gratitude for time together higher. 🙂 So glad you shared your thoughts on it!

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  39. Daphna Avatar
    Daphna

    I’m just happy to see two bowls in a picture by you.
    Good luck in this new-old transition. I can totally relate to it. Even after my husband is gone for a week I need a day or two to adjust back to his presence here, so I can only imagine how it is after 9 months…

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