enJOY it

an archived personal and craft blog from Elise Blaha Cripe.

perspective shift.

Shift

I'm working hard to adjust my attitude for these next few weeks.

Instead of wishing the time away and dwelling over how much longer until Paul gets home, I am focusing on the things I get to do in my last few bits of Alone Time. Depending on how things go, this could be my last long Alone Time stretch ever. Paul will deploy again, of course, but we might have a little one by then.

That's insane.

So instead of reveling in gloom and loneliness, I am celebrating the little things :

I can go to bed and wake up on my own schedule.

I can race through full series of shows (How I Met Your Mother & United States of Tara are both fantastic).

I can eat the exact same dinner night after night (brussels sprouts cooked like this plus turkey sausage is the current go-to).

I can go away or invite friends to stay for a weekend without a second thought.

I can wander for hours and change plans on a whim.

I can work whenever I feel inspired.

Of course I would rather have Paul home. Of course I could use my partner. Of course eating a variety of meals and having someone to laugh with at Barney Stinson would be awesome. If given the choice, I would have Paul come home tomorrow (or better yet, yesterday).

But I don't get a choice. And I have enjoyed the schedule I've carved out for myself over the past five and a half months. I am choosing to remember that and celebrate instead of dread the remaining few weeks.

*photos are from the last few weeks and were taken with instagram.

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47 responses to “perspective shift.”

  1. molly Avatar
    molly

    I admire your strength and spirit so much, Elise. Just wanted you to know.

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  2. Megan -Best of Fates Avatar
    Megan -Best of Fates

    Isn’t Netflix the greatest invention ever? And it’s so crazy to think the next deployment you could have a little one, how exciting!

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  3. Sarah Avatar
    Sarah

    Elise, this is a great post that really resonated with me. But for the opposite reasons! I hardly ever get alone time, and it’s something I wish I had more of. With my toddler, I always being used as her personal trampoline, snot rag, jungle gym, etc… Sometimes I’m envious of those who can do what they want, whenever they want instead of being held hostage to nap times and pediatrician appointments, etc… But, I try to remember that this phase is temporary. And some day soon, hopefully I can use the bathroom alone again 😉 Remembering the temporariness helps me get through challenging times. Wishing you the best!

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  4. Lizzie Avatar
    Lizzie

    I liked this post.
    I spent a lot of time without my husband (for a very different reason;0! ) BUT like you–I didn’t have a choice and making the best of it and creating a life during that time was a very good way to cope!
    Great perspective.

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  5. April Avatar
    April

    Good for you Elise. I think we often spend so much time focusing on the next chapter that we forgot to love the now. You’ll look back on this time with fondness for the strength it gave you to press forward making the most of the moment you are in.
    That’s awesome.

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  6. Johanna Avatar
    Johanna

    Reading that last paragraph made me stop. And realize. My baby boy is now five and a half months old. And yes, life has changed BIG time. 🙂 Talk about a shift of perspective!

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  7. kristine Avatar
    kristine

    I love your blog. You are so right to accept the situation and enjoy time. Once you have kids you will wish you could do just a few things on that list!

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  8. gaele Avatar
    gaele

    I long for some me-time, as I never seem to get a full hour just for myself. As a wife, mom to 2 boys and a teacher, I feel like I’m always answering somebody’s needs. Our schedule is getting crazier as the kids get older with their activities. I even struggle to find time to grade papers, and often find myself working late at night (until 2 or 3 in the morning) when everybody’s sleeping!!! Finding a right balance is definitely not an easy task; and I often dream of a 28 hour-day. Don’t get me wrong: I love my life, my husband and kids, but I would sure appreciate a day or two on my own 🙂

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  9. JillT Avatar
    JillT

    That is a really good way to look at it. . .because it is an absolute fact that you me time will never happen once you have a child. It’s something that is difficult to understand until it is really here. So enjoy! Staying busy and filling your days (which you seem to do anyway) will only make the time go faster.

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  10. alexandra Avatar
    alexandra

    I feel the same way : )

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  11. Leah Buckley Avatar
    Leah Buckley

    inspiring and admirable! love your attitude.
    have you watched party down? it’s a really funny show; i think you’d like it. sadly, there are only two seasons, but i think it’s on netflix instant.

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  12. Cecilia Madden Avatar
    Cecilia Madden

    Good for you. The days are long but the years are short, aren’t they? You’ll look back on this time and in some ways it will seem like a blip.

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  13. Rose Avatar
    Rose

    cheerful attitude given the circumstances. I admire that! I’m not sure I’d be as graceful.
    Perhaps during this time you could take yourself out on a date. Go to a movie, eat a fancy dessert somewhere. I did that for myself last year, and it was incredible. I loved the power of being able to pick any movie (!), sit in any seat (!), and eat any kind of milkshake I wanted afterward.
    🙂

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  14. Melanie Avatar
    Melanie

    Coming from a family of service men, I understand your plight, and really all we can do is celebrate the good! The last thing Paul would want is the thought of you sitting around sad and lonely while he was away. I’m currently in a part-time long distance relationship as well, and focusing on my hobbies that require alone time and focus have been my saving grace. Loving how your blanket is turning out 🙂
    Mel

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  15. Katie @ Katie Without Restrictions Avatar
    Katie @ Katie Without Restrictions

    I’m enjoying your perspective switch! I’ve never experienced a deployment situation, so I can’t even begin to imagine what that’s like ~ I applaud both of you for your commitment and sacrifice. With that said though, I do think it’s important to embrace the positive and it’s great to hear how you’re doing that. It’s a wonderful reminder to me when I face the things that seem sooo giant and daunting (but really aren’t!)!

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  16. Sarah H. Avatar
    Sarah H.

    This is so true. My friend and I were just lamenting that we missed our single days when we were in charge of our schedule – not dependent on anyone else’s. Of course I wouldn’t change my life as a wife and mother for anything, but a little alone time is wonderful. My mom has always told me through life, “Enjoy the season you are in.” as I always wish time away. I try to remember that as you are doing right now.

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  17. Carole Avatar
    Carole

    Sarah, I know you probably hear this a lot, but hopefully, some encouragement from a stranger… I had 3 babies in 3.4 years in the first 4.4 years of marriage. It was a crazy time… my husband and I didn’t have time together, I craved “alone-ness”. My babies are 12, 10, and almost 9 now. Our lives are more hectic than ever, but different than toddler-days. And I MISS those days desperately. Truly, I do. I thought they’d never end. I thought I’d never forget how they were… but they did end. And those days seem lifetimes ago. And what “they” say is so very, very true… it goes sooo fast. I look at pictures and I’m STUNNED. This too, shall pass. And, Elise… prayers your way girl. You’ve done an awesome job at keeping your head up.

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  18. Annemiek Avatar
    Annemiek

    I think you are doing great Elise. Being single, I have a lot of “alone” time. Some days, it’s great, some days it’s not. But sitting on the couch feeling sorry for myself, won’t improve the day. So I get up and do stuff. And I remember that I am fortunately enough to have my health, a lovely family, wonderful friends and a very cute cat. Not to mention a whole bunch of other things for which I am extremely grateful. Maybe Mr. Right will show up, but I know that I can manage. And you have shown that you can manage too.

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  19. oh shoot Avatar
    oh shoot

    Thanks to you I watch and love “How I Met Your Mother.” I think you are doing great and your attitude is amazing. I have no idea how it feel, but I think you are doing a lot better then I ever could. 🙂

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  20. tammy t Avatar
    tammy t

    We all need that shift in perspective. Thank you for giving me one today!
    Tammy

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  21. Julie @Savvy Eats Avatar
    Julie @Savvy Eats

    I love that you are celebrating the little things!

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  22. Jessi Avatar
    Jessi

    Love this post! So great that you recognize this now. I wish I had on my husband’s last deployment and I was pregnant! I did take advantage of my alone time, but not as much as I could have. But it’s so true that when they get home and when the babies come, the “me” time is very scarce. Use this time to the fullest. And he’ll be home before you know it!

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  23. elise blaha Avatar
    elise blaha

    I should treat myself to a date! I need to see whats playing…

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  24. elise blaha Avatar
    elise blaha

    I have not! I will totally check it out. I am current going through parks and rec again.

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  25. Jill Avatar
    Jill

    Love those photos – esp the one of the succulents and the sky 🙂 Yay for just you time – enjoy it!

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  26. noomiy Avatar
    noomiy

    love “keep running” pic! lovely!

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  27. Marian Avatar
    Marian

    Keep up with the positive thoughts! 🙂 And I love those photos.

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  28. Nancy Avatar
    Nancy

    Attitude is a litte thing that makes a big difference. Winston Churchill
    Great post Elise!

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  29. Skye Avatar
    Skye

    I’m always struggling to enjoy the present so this post really resonates with me. I love the way you turn challenges into opportunities.

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  30. Stephenie Zamora Avatar
    Stephenie Zamora

    I love this Elise! YES, value and appreciate this last bit of alone time. Paul will be back before you know it and having this time to just be you, care for yourself and do what you want, that’s awesome. 🙂

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  31. Lizeaton Avatar
    Lizeaton

    I can’t lie, I would love to have this kind of time. Like right now, I just laid my second one down for a nap & the 4 year old is going to be home in less than 15 minutes. It does make me really appreciate the quite moments I have. But I also know the grass is always greener…& this shall to pass. Love reading your blog! Thanks for helping me get through my crazy chaotic days.

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  32. elise blaha Avatar
    elise blaha

    yay! GREAT quote. Thank you. e

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  33. Chris Avatar
    Chris

    I love the perspective shift. Sometimes, I wish that I had held harder onto some of the things I could do sans child, before we had him — the independence and spontaneity for travel, etc. which I no longer have. It will never be a complaint of mine, but I do love that you’ve made this realization now. 🙂

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  34. holly Avatar
    holly

    Im 23 and from the UK, i have just started reading your blog, and i absolutely love and adore your mini books and your whole addiction to documenting things.
    My new boyfriend is away backpacking in Australia for 2 months, and Im counting down the weeks, but you reminded me that actually no i shouldn’t wish time away, but just marinate in this time that is left for ME, and focus on my own life instead on focusing on what hes up to all the time, cos i do find i get distracted in love!!! haha xx

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  35. Mel Avatar
    Mel

    Thanks for a good reminder about not wishing time away. You savour those moments.
    x

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  36. suzanne Avatar
    suzanne

    cherish your “me” time for sure. gosh it is so rare :)and I love that Brussels sprouts recipe; brilliant!

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  37. October Bishop Avatar
    October Bishop

    Elise, you are Legend….. Wait for it……. ary! x

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  38. elise blaha Avatar
    elise blaha

    Very well played. 🙂

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  39. emily Avatar
    emily

    i second Party Down. hilarious. Jane Lynch before she hit it big. They’re tossing around doing a Party Down movie.
    Have you watched Veronica Mars? My favorite TV show ever.

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  40. elise blaha Avatar
    elise blaha

    I LOVE veronica mars. watched the whole thing two summers ago. One of my favorite shows.

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  41. Yael Avatar
    Yael

    great perspective :).
    have you watched the first season of game of thrones? i’ve only just seen the first 2 episodes and i’m hooked!

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  42. Sandy Avatar
    Sandy

    Had to tell you – we had brussel sprouts made from your recipe and they were delicious, as usual! I’ve cooked them your way several times and always marvel that I/m eating a vegetable I always thought I hated. (One time I also chopped up a little bacon and let it cook with the sprouts. It was delicious but not particularly healthy 🙂

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  43. Dana Burke Avatar
    Dana Burke

    Way to go, Elise! Finding time to be your true self is one of the things I currently enjoy as a military wife. Although my husband has not deployed, he has gone on various field missions, TDY assignments, and training schools for weeks at a time. I make lists and have mini projects to due during the time he is gone. We differ in the fact that you have a wonderful business from home and I work at a Vet clinic on post, so our time schedules vary just a bit. You seem like you make the most of your time to not focus on the downsides of a deployment and I salute you for that!
    PS. love that you’re started project life! I started last year and it is the best way to preserve memories, stories, and personal achievements in a fun way.

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  44. Nicole : Three By Sea Avatar
    Nicole : Three By Sea

    Love that you’re making the most of each situation/phase of life as it comes. It can be a hard thing for us to remember to do.

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  45. stacey K Avatar
    stacey K

    Perspective is my word for the year. I have trouble “living” when my husband is working away. I feel like I can’t breath properly & my children suffocate me. I had a conversation with him when he got home last time saying I didn’t know how to get on with life without him. That really made me stop & think. So I am trying to change the way I look at trying situations weither it be my husband working away or my girls constant squabbles or getting out of the house & living my life. Some days are harder than others but I am trying to shift my perspective. Project Life is really helping with this as when he is away I can document what we do & he can read all about it when he returns, & I also look back over the last week & see the good in the week not just the long days & the yelling. Perspective.

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  46. Daphna Avatar
    Daphna

    I totally admire your spirit. Every post you write about this issue makes me cry, and smile.
    Do you know this video? “How to be alone” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7X7sZzSXYs&feature=player_embedded
    (Got it from Hagit http://israblog.nana10.co.il/blogread.asp?blog=561504&blogcode=11969698 )

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  47. elise blaha Avatar
    elise blaha

    I have seen that before. But I watched it again this morning. WOW. WOW. WOW.

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