Okay Dude, you have got some serious explaining to do.
Why are you making yourself so sick? Why can you not get over your stupid fever and your disgusting phlegm and BE NICE TO ME? Because for heaven sake, my body, I have waiting FOUR years to celebrate Senior Week. And now you have to go and ruin it for me.
I have been so nice to you. Extra vitamin C, gallons of water, excessive amounts of pain relieving/fever reducing Tylenol and aspirin. I even picked up our part of the room for you. And I washed our sheets too, in the hopes that all the cleanliness would get you on your best behavior.
This is not funny, my body. In fact it making me even madder than I was last summer when you thought it would be a good prank to start losing hair for no good reason. I was almost ready to forgive you for that. Now I am not so sure.
But you have got to pull it together. I have 4 days of fun events – events that would normally involve a significant amount of booze and laughter. Now I am willing to give up the alcohol, but you better let us make it to the events. Because I really do not want to miss out on the laughter.
And another thing! I am not sure if you have been paying attention, but we have a very hot boyfriend coming to visit us on Friday. If you want him to come within a 10 foot radius, you better start healing. And fast.
Have I made myself clear? Thank you. And I love you.
Sincerely,
The Brains of this Operation
enJOY it 
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