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The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo

If you've been here awhile you may or may not know that I am ALL ABOUT THE TIDYING. Actually the more I think about it, the more you may not know that. So here's the deal…ready?

I hate clutter.

I mean, no one LOVES clutter. No one openly thinks, "yes, more clutter please, on every surface with extra piles, thank you." But some people tolerate it better than I do. This blog has seen me through many life stages… college, moving across the country to live with my boyfriend, getting married, sending my husband off on two deployments, moving our belongings by myself twice, buying a house, setting up a house, having a kid and now preparing to have a second kid.

A lot has changed during that time. (Thank God.) But one thing that hasn't changed is every step of the way I have loved getting rid of stuff.

And yet. Despite the many moves and despite the fact that I'm decently ruthless about getting rid of crap, it still accumulates or (more likely) it still sits because we now have the space. This past year though, between capsule wardrobe and revamping my office to fit my new work lifestyle and hobbies I have made a decent dent.

So I was very interested to read Marie Kondo's book and make the final uphill climb to full tidiness (I realize saying that makes me sound insane). It finally popped in my library queue and I read through it over a few days, skimming parts and detail reading others. Let's get one thing out of the way first…this is a SUPER extreme method. I uttered the phrase "OCD, much?" a few times. But I actually think much of it is realistic and helpful (if you're in a place where you want to go through your stuff. If not you'll be stressed out of your mind).

I had a lot of "eye-opening" moments but probably my favorite was the question (and I'm paraphrasing) "do you want your home to be a place of rest or a storage unit?" AHHHHHH! Not a storage unit. I don't want to live in a storage unit. I don't even want to own a storage unit.

Kondo has a very specific method and order that she recommends following to clear out your home. I paid close attention and actually wrote down all the things she suggests to go through, but they I attacked them in a totally different order based on what I had time for. It took me parts of three days to go through the entire house and then another few hours to do the garage. (We've only lived here two years so it's not crazy.)

It's recommended that you tackle categories, not rooms which is brilliant. I went through all the bathroom toiletries at once. All of the books in the house at once. All of the cleaning supplies at once. This helped me find duplicates and stay in the zone. When I was done, all of our cleaning supplies were stored in one place in the garage. All of our medicines were stored on the top shelf in the kitchen. (Ellerie still had toy baskets in three rooms.)

The biggest areas of our house that needed going through were the kitchen and my closet (yes, again, ugh).

Our kitchen is good-sized which means we have been able to store a lot of stuff that we never use and don't need. I got rid of things like the punch bowl we registered for (because I thought I'd be throwing a lot of parties?), a toaster oven that's sat on the bottom shelf for two years and coffee grinder that we upgraded from last year. I rearranged like a crazy person and moved around the pantry shelves to create a flow that makes sense for how we eat and cook. I cleared off the counter tops almost completely. It took forever but made a wonderful difference.

And then the closet. You'll remember I'm three seasons into a capsule wardrobe, which means I wear a small collection of 30-40 pieces each season. I have been storing my "not in season" clothing in big plastic bins in my closet which, according to Kondo, is a bad idea. I thought this through and… I agree.

The clothing in the bins is not being treated great. It comes out rumpled and smelling a bit stale. It bums me out to open the bins, much less wear the clothing. So everything came out. And everything got sorted. I held up each item and tried on a few, asking over and over the recommended question "Does this bring me joy?" Not "did I pay a lot for this?" Not "do I wish I wore this more?" Not "will I wear this again?" Not "can I live without this?" But "DOES THIS BRING ME JOY?"

It's a different question than I have ever asked and it's an interesting one because it disregards all the other crap. It doesn't ask if you have happy memories or if in six months you'll be sad you tossed it. It doesn't ask if you already have four white t-shirts. It just asks if you feel a rush of happiness when you look at it or touch it. That question helped me be the most ruthless yet. (I sent some of my clothing to ThredUp and donated some to Goodwill.)

So now, on the right side of my closet I still have my capsule clothing (which is about to switch to a summer/2nd trimester maternity friendly capsule) and then on the left, I have everything that made the JOYFUL cut. In my dresser drawers I have a drawer of capsule bottoms and then a drawer of everything else. Plus a drawer for undergarments. (My socks are still balled up.)

The biggest cut though was to my toiletries. I have maybe 30 pieces of hair/makeup/skincare products now…total (including nail polish and lipstick). (I'll have to do an updated post on my favorite skincare products.) It wasn't that I was using more than that, it's just that I was storing them. I had, for example, the three eye shadows that were mixed onto my eyelids at my wedding … and haven't been used since. No joy there. It did it's job and now we can move on.

Anyway.

After the big clean out, I was in the kitchen fixing a snack, humming to myself and I was overwhelmed with a feeling of peace.

"I've had this feeling before…" I thought. I remember vividly this exact peaceful feeling that but I couldn't remember WHEN. And then in clicked…

When I was 18, I moved into my college dorm room. It was a nice big room with light blonde wood furniture. I unpacked my clothes, books and bedding. I hung my beloved mementos. I turned the room into "my space." My first, very own (shared with sweet roommate) space. I sat down on my bed and felt at peace.

Everything in that dorm room I loved. I had taken only my favorite things from my childhood home. I had stocked up on "college essentials" at Target. I had packed and unpacked them with great care. I had carefully decided where in the room they would fit best. And now we were here. In this space that was ready for the next adventure.

THAT. That was feeling. That's what I have finally created again (12 years and four homes later) in our San Diego home. Not everything we own is perfect. But everything we own is loved. Everything was chosen. Everything that remains is here because it brings us joy. It's got a place. We have a space.

Ready for the next adventure.

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64 responses to “tidying = life changing?”

  1. Sarah Avatar

    I have been so on the fence about reading this book despite raves from most people. I know it’s going to make me even more frustrated about the clutter in our house than I already am! My biggest issue is time — as in, when do I possibly have the time to go through our 2000+ square foot house. It’s so overwhelming to think about.
    Anyway, I think I’m going to give it a try.

    Like

  2. sonrie Avatar

    To respond to some of the comments, I read this article recently:
    http://www.newyorker.com/culture/culture-desk/shopping-at-anthropologie-with-marie-kondo
    and saw that she was both married and pregnant with her first child. I too wondered about what she does with the things of someone else (i.e. husband). I found reading the book to be a very peaceful experience but admittedly, I haven’t put it all into practice yet.

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  3. Jenn Avatar

    Jess Lively recently had a podcast with Alexandra Franzen and they talked about this book and the book “Less” and in the show notes Jess made a printable of the checklist from tidying Up. I know you mentioned that you wrote it down, but I thought it might be handy to pass it along. http://jesslively.com/alexandrafranzen

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  4. Jody Avatar

    I want to pick up this book so bad, I am constantly de cluttering and sorting. BUT I think at 8 months pregnant my nesting would take over and turn me into psycho de-clutter lady .. May leave this till next season!

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  5. Michelle Avatar
    Michelle

    I am so glad you wrote this! Bc now I know I would not want that book.
    I personally do like clutter, In fact I love it. When I tuck things “away” I forget about them. I like to have everything OUT where I can see it (no doubt this explains why my dresser drawers are empty while my clothes are piled everywhere).
    Perhaps this is bc you grew up in a well-to-do home, the only girl, with only one brother, and live a well-to-do lifestyle, where you have been alone a lot. I grew up very very poor and had almost nothing of my own. Anything I might have was fair game for my mom to take if she needed it, for herself, or for one of my many siblings. Everything I have and own is something I have worked really hard for. And while you have moved several times, you have mentioned the military providing movers. I moved 3 times in grad school, and every single time I had to do it all myself, and I was always moving somewhere smaller. Just go thru dumping almost everything you own and want a few times, ugh. It’s painful, let’s leave it at that.
    I as also thinking – while reading and reflecting on your post – that I love homes that are full of the things that the owners have collected and kept. Among my social peers, we all tend to own vast quantities of books and music, all of which are on display. When I moved in to this apt, I first set up my bookcases. Then I decided to shelve my books by color, rather than by topic or author. I had a housewarming party and everyone who came perused my titles. My designer friends loved it by color; my librarian friends were horrified. But it was a conversation starter!
    I grew up in a home filled with books, records, mementos of people we loved and our history, craft and art supplies and projects, knick knacks all with a story, many children, many dogs… life!
    I do think your home photographs very nicely, and looks very sleek and design-y on my small computer screen when I read your blog. My place is not photogenic at all!! 🙂

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  6. Julie Avatar
    Julie

    Awesome! I’m on a decluttering kick too. And try into pair down my wardrobe, I do have to say though, it’s be AWESOME to not box up clothes, but if you’re not ready, I think it’s a great way to put them away and show yourself that you can live without them, when I pull a box back out a season later then I feel less attachment or I know what I want for sure. The goal is a limited closet but in the meantime, I’m going to be okay with boxing things up. Progress can be slow. 🙂 great thoughts here. Enjoyed your review.

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  7. sara Avatar

    I don’t know if I could do this for my ENTIRE house, but there are certainly areas where it would be very beneficial (I’m looking at you clothes, desk/school stuff, pantry/fridge, DVDs).
    I’ll probably give it a go this weekend!

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  8. Oh Hey! Blog // Megan Avatar

    I’ve read so many reviews on this (one only a minute ago) and it seems just so life changing that everyone must read it. As I’ve grown older I’ve actually become better at letting things go, I thought I would get more sentimental as I aged. Suppose it becomes clearer what is really important as you get older!!!
    Megan || http://www.ohheyblog.com

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  9. Lola Nova Avatar

    I’d never heard of this book until I saw your post, now I’m seeing it all over Pinterest! You’ve inspired me to pick up a copy, can’t wait to put it into practice 🙂

    Like

  10. Chloe Avatar
    Chloe

    Elise, can I ask how you handled the ‘clothes that bring joy’ idea while pregnant? I just had my first child a few weeks ago and there are clothes that are still maybe a tad too small that I LOVE. Do you have pieces that aren’t fitting right now that you kept because you love to put them on, knowing that they might not feel the same this time next year?

    Like

  11. Johanna Avatar

    I remember this feeling after having our first child – and I’d recommend keeping the things you love a couple of weeks longer to see if you fit in them again. Someone once told me – it took your body 9 months to grow this baby, give it 9 months to go back to normal! It didn’t take that long for me, but my clothes from “before” sure fit again 🙂

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  12. Lindsay Avatar

    I was wondering about this too (other people in the house – who gather things)! Thanks for the head’s up.

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  13. Thea Avatar
    Thea

    Although not aesthetically pleasing, having children use sippy cups brought me joy as they didn’t spill drinks all over the table and floor or break glass if/when they dropped them. Eventually they go, to be replaced by plastic glasses and finally one day these are gone as well. Then you feel a little sadness in their passing as you realize how grown up your children are. Take joy in the seasons of your life.

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  14. Molly Avatar

    One of my favorite parts of Kondo’s book is thanking the items for their service before donating/tossing them. It makes it feel like such a more sacred ritual. “Thanks cute dress for being there on my first date with my husband, that was really special” or “Thanks blender for introducing me to smoothies, they were delicious”. It’s so respectful to the items and to oneself 🙂

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