enJOY it

an archived personal and craft blog from Elise Blaha Cripe.

a tale of two time zones.

TimezonesThanksgiving Day 2014

I've been thinking a lot lately about the two different times zones that I live in: Elise Standard Time and Ellerie Standard Time.

Every day for sure and sometimes many times throughout each day I shuffle back and forth between the two. Recognizing (and celebrating!) their differences is how I have figured out how to make "this" – being a Mama and business owner – work for me.

Elise time (business time) is all about order and efficency. Give me a list of things and I'll work through them. My objective (which has worked well for me so far) is to crank through what I know so I can experiment with what I don't. I'm really good at managing Elise Standard Time. I've been doing it for years.

Ellerie time (mama time) is all about…I have no word for it. Mostly, it's about coming up with activities. Watercolor or the zoo or all the errands. Or reading books. Or watching Elmo. Or going outside. Or moving the sand around. Or making dough. Or playing music. Or waving at the birds. Or climbing up and down on to the rocking chair/stroller/stool/coffee table/umbrella stand. (All of these things take about two hours total and then we repeat.) It's simultaneously hectic and boring. It's both amazing and exhausting. I'm not nearly as good at managing Ellerie Standard Time. What it demands of me is constantly changing.

I have learned that the key to saving my sanity is differentiating between these two time zones and accepting how they each work. Activities look different depending on what zone I'm in. When I empty the dishwasher on Elise time it's like a military drill. When Ellerie and I empty the dishwasher together on Ellerie time, it's like getting 25 clowns into a matchbox car with our eyes closed. But here's the key part: in both cases, the dishes get put away and everyone is happy about it. Elise time is never going to involve a clown car and Ellerie time might never be drill like (and that's totally okay).

I have learned that I can't keep my business functioning and growing while operating on Ellerie time. And I'm not a great mama on full-speed-ahead Elise time. (And that also is totally okay.)

My goal these days (and they really are the days) is not "balance" or "keeping all the balls in the air." It's so much more simple than that.

My goal these days is to set and reset my watch.

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39 responses to “a tale of two time zones.”

  1. donya Avatar
    donya

    Elise! This is soooo good. It’s what I haven’t been able to put into words for years now. I am just finishing up my 2 hours of “me” time (in my time zone). I hear foot steps upstairs as my kids wake up and now I’ll switch time zones to mama time. Seriously, thank you for putting this into words!

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  2. Tee Avatar
    Tee

    As always you write what I’m thinking s beautifully and I go “yeah, how’d she get it?!” I’m a mom of a toddler working from home too and it’s a learned skill to switch on and off – some days more successfully than others!

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  3. Armalite Avatar
    Armalite

    Very insightful as always. I don’t have kids, but my partner and I operate on totally different time zones, which can be frustrating as hell: I like to do things fast, efficiently and “just so”, and to be early everywhere; he likes to take his time, is not fussy about details and often slightly late. It does take a lot of adjusting.

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  4. Jules Avatar
    Jules

    LOVE THIS! We have very similar time zones at our house and I hadn’t thought of it that way. I find being a mama thrilling and exhausting on a scale I could never comprehend until now. It is interesting adapting and learning patience as you have one foot in two different spaces!

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  5. lisa valinsky Avatar
    lisa valinsky

    My husband and I don’t have kids, but having taught for many years (from toddler to high school aged), I totally get this. And as a person who loves lists and order and getting things done, I wonder how I will/would be as a parent. I also love your honesty with the word “boring”. That doesn’t mean the stuff that makes up early childhood is bad, just a very different pace.

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  6. Kelsey, Especially Avatar
    Kelsey, Especially

    Gahhhh this is so good! And so, so true!
    I’m not a work-from-home mom (of 3…2 under the age of 5), but I AM a full-time-student-from-home mom (on top of 2 work-outside-the-home jobs…and the Army Reserve), so I totally get this. Totally, wholly, completely.
    I’d never before thought to assign “time zones” to these two totally different roles – “Mom” and “Kelsey the grown-up”, but you are so spot on with this! Love this.
    It does and doesn’t get easier as they get older and as you add more to the mix. The challenges are constantly changing, but I suppose makes it exciting…or at least, that’s what I tell myself on the days when it all feels like too much.

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  7. Samantha Avatar
    Samantha

    This is THE most perfect description, explanation, way to think about being a parent that I’ve ever read, thank you so much for writing this down and sharing with us.
    It reminds me that I had more patience, and a better comprehension of (in my case) Lewis time, when he was younger.
    Recently, because he is 7, I know I’ve been expecting him to operate on my time. That’s, to quote him “so not fair mummy!”, and he’s right. It’s been causing frustration from both sides.
    I can have a think now, before he gets home from school, how I can change my attitude, my expectations so we can work out our own time zones.
    Samantha

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  8. Kristina Avatar
    Kristina

    I know it may look different from the inside looking out, but from our perspective, you have the happiest little girl and a thriving business. I can’t imagine you doing any better in either time zone. 🙂 thanks for sharing. I can’t wait to re-read all of these posts when I’m a mama someday.

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  9. Anna Avatar
    Anna

    LOVE the idea of “cranking through what you know so you can experiment with what you don’t.” Something I need to remember at work – to crank through the routine stuff so there’s more time for the really interesting stuff.

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  10. Sarah Avatar
    Sarah

    you.nailed.it!
    there is NO balance. It doesn’t exist. I’m gonna make my husband read this post.

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  11. Jennifer C Avatar
    Jennifer C

    What a great way to describe a working mothers life!!!! I wish more mothers realized this and that IT.IS.OK. So many people (and their kiddos)would be so much happier if they could differentiate their two time zones.

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  12. Pam S. Avatar
    Pam S.

    You have such a way with words! While my head is nodding as I read, I would not have been able to put it to paper as eloquently as you have. My children are out of that phase (9 and 16 now), but I remember those days well and smile each time I think of them. Times zones — perfect analogy!

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  13. samantha jane Avatar
    samantha jane

    I am not a mom, but I can see your words ringing true when that does happen! I love that you used the word boring. You are truthful and raw about what it means to be a mom. I appreciate that.

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  14. olivia Avatar
    olivia

    bingo ! its exactly that. loved how you wrote it ! my little one just turned 1 and im back to work since october. thank you !

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  15. Betsey Avatar
    Betsey

    This is absolutely perfect, and could have written it myself (if I were as gifted writer as you!) I find my “me time” and my “moma time” colliding all the time, and it’s a constant battle to remind myself to switch — and that the “job” will get done — even with two kids climbing in and out of the dishwater, “helping” put away dishes and opening and closing the door! Thanks for putting this into such wonderful words!

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  16. Gisele Chastain Avatar
    Gisele Chastain

    Brilliant as always!

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  17. Sarah Avatar
    Sarah

    Oh I love this so, so, so much.

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  18. Joan Avatar
    Joan

    So true! I think it’s the same with moms who work away from the home – I find myself thinking about work on my commute in the morning and then thinking about home on my commute home in the afternoon. Totally different time-zones! My Father told me that you have to put the “time in” when getting helped by a child – it may take 30 minutes to get a job done – but when they are older it will only take them 5 minutes. I’m reaping the rewards of that investment now!

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  19. Aimee Avatar
    Aimee

    This is so perfect, and perfectly written. I’m not a working mama at all, but I have 4 kids (so I guess that is like a full time job haha) 3 of them are school age, so I find the “me” time that I can crank out chores, errands, crafts to be when they are in school and I have just the baby with me. Then when they are home, I have to remember to change time zones. Some days it’s harder than others when the “me” time goes overtime and I find myself frustrated that I can’t finish what I was doing.

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  20. Spenser Avatar
    Spenser

    As I read this post I was think, “yes. YES. YES!!”. Thank you for putting words to my thoughts. It’s easy for me to get caught up in “turbo mode” as my husband calls it. Life is is so much better when you can hang out in both time zones. 🙂

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  21. Johanna Avatar
    Johanna

    YES. Time zones. The world just turns differently in those two.

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  22. Brittany Simonson Avatar
    Brittany Simonson

    I have been a silent follower for a few years now. I must confess that I open every email, but 90% of the time only go as far as to just enjoy your images and graphics; which always delight. However with this post, for whatever reason, I decided to read it completely and am glad I did. I have no children and know nothing as to what it means to be a mother, but still could grasp the concept of your different time zones. This is very well written and excites me to start reading further into your posts. Thank you for sharing.

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  23. ekaterina Avatar
    ekaterina

    Elise, you have such a gift of putting the right words into the right place. Every time I come close to the end of such posts I feel tears in my eyes — it’s just that beautiful. I mean, honestly. I know I’ve said this million times but I just love you. And we’ve never even met.

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  24. Ashlee McClung Avatar
    Ashlee McClung

    You nailed it! I have a 14 month old and in the same boat. I’ve been struggling so much with trying to find this so called “balance”. Just curious, do you think you’ll do more day in the life posts? Would love to see one with Ellerie again! 🙂

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  25. Sarah Milligan Avatar
    Sarah Milligan

    Oh my goodness, you put it perfectly! Made me smile, esp your description of dishwasher emptying on Ellerie time. 🙂
    Can I ask where in your world you manage house tasks these days? I’m new to managing work of my own… and when I’m with my kids I want to be all there, but I’m finding myself squeezing in house tasks… just curious what you do with that. 🙂

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  26. Kim B. Avatar
    Kim B.

    This is just so insightful and so well articulated. I can’t say anything better than that, but I didn’t want just to lurk, wanted to express my appreciation, however inelegantly.

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  27. Shannon Avatar
    Shannon

    This is perfect.

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  28. Carrie Avatar
    Carrie

    Your shirt says it all – “These are the days” 🙂

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  29. Debbie Avatar
    Debbie

    You can’t describe motherhood to someone who’s not experienced it, yet you have done an excellent job defining what it can look like. I love your writing style. Keep setting and resetting your watch and I hope any “jet lag” will be livable and full of peace.

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  30. Claire Avatar
    Claire

    Well said, it describes life as a mama so well. I loved the “hectic and boring”.

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  31. amy tangerine Avatar
    amy tangerine

    OH THIS IS SO GOOD.

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  32. Jackie Avatar
    Jackie

    So true!! Having that realization myself is when I started truly enjoying both having a business and being a mom. Trying to do them both at the same time is impossible!! The two time zones is a great analogy!!
    Looking forward to the final podcast of the year!!

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  33. Natasha Renstead Avatar
    Natasha Renstead

    Yes…just as everyone else has said, this perfectly describes the different ways we have to “be” when there are children involved. Great post Elise!

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  34. Mallory Avatar
    Mallory

    Elise,
    I’m not a mama yet, and I’m several years away from being one, but I will tell you that every single post like this I save and pin, because I am so similar to you and I know I will run into the same problems when I’m a mama. These posts are so inspirational and awesome and I KNOW I will need to re-read them over and over when I’m a mom. You’re such an inspiration and I can’t thank you enough for being so open and honest with your experiences.
    Mallory

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  35. Cheryla Avatar
    Cheryla

    You are so right about that. I’ve never noticed that my mommy time with my (now 8 year old) son changed into me time, and that I expect him to operate in my time. Eye opener!!! Thank you for that.

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  36. Cheryla Avatar
    Cheryla

    Thank you, thank you, thank you for the insight in this matter. I’ve been trying to work out this balancing thing for 8 years now, never finding the ideal flow for me, for my family. Reading your post is a true eye opener! Duh!
    So thank you soo much!!!

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  37. Carolyn Dietrich Avatar
    Carolyn Dietrich

    How wise you are! Wish I read this back when I was a mama of young children.

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  38. Lydia Avatar
    Lydia

    This has been the hardest adjustment for me as a new mom to a toddler! You said it so well, as always!

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  39. Jamie Avatar
    Jamie

    Man, I had no idea until you put it down here why some days with my 28-month-old work, and others (spectacularly) don’t. I’ll be setting and resetting my watch too – I think that will be key in our world to better momma and toddler days. Oh, and in this vein, I LOVE LOVE LOVE when my husband takes over toddler-time for 20-30 minute windows and I can GET STUFF DONE. = )

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