enJOY it

an archived personal and craft blog from Elise Blaha Cripe.

WDS2

photo credit : Armosa Studios for WDS.

here's part one.

(In case you've been on the edge of your seat, Ellerie did, indeed, go back to a decent sleep schedule.)

When we first talked about what I would say at WDS, my topic was "making stuff is a way of life." And then I realized that I could go much bigger than that. Making stuff (a living, relationships, ideas, etc) IS a way of life. And for me, that's SUPER literal. I make stuff. But for others, the idea is a bit more difficult to translate. I didn't want to lose people on a technicality here.

If you say you're talking about "making stuff" – you're taking the risk that people will (incorrectly) think "Ugh, creativity. I'm not creative. This talk is not for me." And, while I am not an expert at this, I think the first rule of public speaking is, "make them think the talk is for them."

So I backed up and made it broader. What I am I really doing when I am setting creative goals and "making stuff" is making a statement. Not "hey! Look at how meaningful and powerful my art is!" but "hey! I want to do this so I am going to."

I realized that what I really care about, so much more than making stuff, is making a bold statement. Saying what you want out loud. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable and put your goal, wish, ambition out there. It's scarier than it sounds, laying it out there. Because as soon as you say it, it might not happen and then there is this fear that someone will know you failed.

But I think failure is equally important to the success story. Not in the "oh look how many times he got back up, wow, I am so inspired" way but in the "if you're going all in, you're messing up CONSTANTLY" way. We learn by doing. When you are not messing up, it's probably because you're not learning and therefore, not trying anything new.

I have spoken in front of a large group (140ish people) once before this time. And at that speech, I shared the following Amy Poehler quote too. This is the quote you get if you ask me to speak because it's brilliant and applicable to nearly every situation there is.

“Great people do things before they’re ready. They do things before they know they can do it. Doing what you’re afraid of, getting out of your comfort zone, taking risks like that – that is what life is. You might be really good. You might find out something about yourself that’s really special and if you’re not good, who cares? You tried something. Now you know something about yourself.” – Amy Poehler

Sidebar : If I ever get the opportunity to write a memoir, I'm going to pepper that quote into every chapter. Partly because it's just true and partly because if you're a funny person (I'm looking at you, Tina and Mindy) it's part of your contract with the world to dedicate a section of your book to a smart anecdote about Amy Poehler. Right? Publishers, feel free to back me up on this.

I mean, COME ON. Trying! THAT IS WHAT LIFE IS.

That's why I signed on to do this scary speech! I could not do it and move on, happy in my comfortable bubble. Or I could do it. Pop the bubble and suddenly find myself in a larger more exciting space.

This goes along with my theory about how "nobody cares about almost." I don't want to know about what you almost did. Or almost tried. I want to know about what you did. I want to know about what you tried. "Oh, you failed spectacularly? Awesome." I am so much more interested in that than your story about how you didn't fail because you only thought about trying.

These thoughts above were all whirling as I started to pull this together. This is what I was hashing out with Ellerie nearly every day in May. It's funny – Ellerie's vocabulary really took off these past few months. At the beginning of May it was like "Ma-ma!" and now it's like "that is what life is, Ma-ma!"

to be continued…

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42 responses to “speaking at WDS 2014 | part two.”

  1. Lana Avatar
    Lana

    There is something very Wizard of Oz like about that photo 🙂

    Like

  2. Natanya Avatar

    I love that quote! And so funny about Ellerie’s new vocab. 😉

    Like

  3. lisa valinsky Avatar

    Love these posts, Elise! (Well, I love all of your posts.) 🙂
    So glad you TRIED with this speaking event. So curious to read through your story and hear how you’re feeling now, today, having gone through an incredible risk like this.

    Like

  4. susan Avatar

    This could be my very favourite post ever Elise … my husband tells me my byline is “bold, persistent, experimentation” and it’s true I do an awful lot of “trying” which comes with lots of stumbling, tumbling, crashes & some failures but I’ve also had tremendous success in my creative business, especially this last very bumpy year, it seems so often the bigger the bumps – the bigger the rewards (eventually), the deeper the abyss of failure feels – the higher my inspiration bounces back up from that abyss. I too find it totally exhilarating to try doing everything & anything that I want to do.

    Like

  5. Michelle Avatar

    YOU ARE SO AWESOME.

    Like

  6. Andrea Avatar
    Andrea

    Thank you so much for this post!!! I am tired of “almost” and I want to start really living and doing new things!! Thanks for the inspiration!

    Like

  7. Kelly Avatar

    Often the “why to’s” outweight the “why not to’s”, but fear is a powerful emotion. Being brave, like your choice to speak, is catching though. It leads to so much more than fear ever will. I am totally living this having recently moved to Australia from San Diego with my 1 and 3 year olds. People thought we were crazy but we knew it would be an experience we were thankful for when it was all said and done! I’m sure you are feeling the same way after doing what you did! Way to go!
    kelly
    http://www.reckonandrevel.com

    Like

  8. Anna Avatar

    This is so awesome, Elise. I haven’t even heard the speech yet and I’m already thinking about the things that I need to just jump in and TRY.

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  9. Mandy Avatar

    Ditto to what Anna said! =)

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  10. Pattie Avatar
    Pattie

    I thought the same thing!!

    Like

  11. Meghan Avatar

    I’m looking forward to hearing the speech!!

    Like

  12. Jen P. Avatar
    Jen P.

    This is just so wonderful. You nailed it. This touches all aspects of life. I can’t wait to read the rest of the story.

    Like

  13. ekaterina Avatar

    Elise. You are just STUNNING. I don’t know how a person can be that cool. This is my favorite blog EVER!

    Like

  14. Ali | Gimme Some Oven Avatar

    Yet one more reason to love Amy Pohler. And you! Especially going for it with this speech! I couldn’t agree more about “almosts” and just TRYING things. Life seems to happen in those leaps.
    Look forward to reading more (and I am seriously crossing my fingers that a video of you speaking will be available somewhere sometime).

    Like

  15. Welcome Home Taylor Avatar

    That photo is great. That stage looks great on you. I hope I get the chance to hear/watch your speech because this post alone is fantastic and so inspiring!
    xoxo
    Taylor

    Like

  16. Michelle Avatar

    I like the message. I like it a lot.
    What is hard about trying, is flying without a safety net. You are lucky to have supportive parents, not drowning in student loan debt from getting a degree, and having a smart husband who went to medical school and pays for it with his service. (THANK YOU, PAUL!!)
    I, like many people who grew up poor, find it very difficult to try and to fail spectacularly for the sake of personal growth, because when I fail I can’t pay my rent. Or I have to leave someone that I thought loved me. Stuff like that.
    I’d really like to quit my job, sell everything I can.; and move to the UK. Just because! LOL
    I think when you have a child to raise and support, your options to just fling yourself off a cliff and hope it works out ok become more limited. My mom was a single mother with 4 kids and 2 deadbeat ex husbands (yeah my dad is one of them). I ended up not having kids bc I wanted to be able to jump more often, and if I fell, I only took myself down.
    I think it is a very inspiring message, and it’s a constant push to try and move past the fear and into the possibility.
    I’m in the midst of something that is scary (emotionally rather than financially). I am feeling my way. It’s very hard to judge when it’s right to go out on that limb!
    I found your post and message inspiring and will be thinking about the message today.

    Like

  17. Michelle Avatar

    I am impressed… and jealous!

    Like

  18. Carly Friesen Avatar

    This is just such a great post! I think I am going to have to print that quote and paste it in every single room in my apartment. That is on awesome quote. Can’t wait to read the rest and to see the video!

    Like

  19. Beth Avatar
    Beth

    I will definitely be listening to your speech when it’s available. Thanks for the affirming message: keep trying and don’t give up. Cheers to you!

    Like

  20. Katie Avatar

    You are amazing! That is all 🙂

    Like

  21. kelly lanley Avatar

    “…COME ON.Trying! THAT’S WHAT LIFE IS!” will be going on a wall somewhere. Thanks for sharing such rocking post, Elise!

    Like

  22. Brittany Avatar

    I feel you with the scariness that failing means falling, literally, very far. Student loan debt FTW.
    But I also hate that those things make fear clutch at me, and I think (and hope, for my sake) that we can take Elise’s message and scale it to fit our own situations, even if that means trying in a less-big way than others. (So maybe we can’t just sell all our stuff and move to Europe right away.. hah)
    We might have to take smaller steps, but as long as we keep pushing through, we’ll get there in the end.

    Like

  23. Emily Avatar
    Emily

    such an awesome approach to your speech, and making one of your mantras applicable to a wider audience. So smart. Awesome.

    Like

  24. renee @ savoring life through the lens Avatar

    oh this is incredible…you’re SO right!!! and i agree with kelly lanley…Trying! That’s what life IS!! will be going on my wall, too.
    it’s funny because i just read a blog post this week on this same topic…except hers was called f@ck the 5 year plan…same thing…do something that makes you scared…and then move on from there, because when move past that comfort zone, that’s when life changes…in an amazing way…instead of just writing down a 5 year goal plan…just get out there and take action on one thing that you wanna do even if it scares the crap out of ya!!
    oh, i’m loving your series on this…wish i was there live to hear it all. but loving that you’re sharing here on your blog. and hooray for ellerie back on her sleep schedule. my little guy (baby #2)…we’re waiting for his last tooth (canine) and he’s been up at night b/c of it. last night was his first all nighter in a week. SO nice! 🙂
    thanks again for this post…because it’s the just the kick in the pants i needed!! time for me to get my TRY on!!!!!! :):)

    Like

  25. Carrie Anderson Avatar
    Carrie Anderson

    I cannot WAIT until Amy Poehler starts quoting YOU!!
    your levels of awesome are off the charts lady and Im excited to watch 🙂 🙂

    Like

  26. Lori W. Avatar

    Yes! Me three!

    Like

  27. elise blaha cripe Avatar

    LOL, THAT WILL BE THE DAY. thank you. 🙂

    Like

  28. B Avatar
    B

    “Because as soon as you say it, it might not happen and then there is this fear that someone will know you failed.”
    This is what has been holding me back for a LONG time. Thanks for spelling it out for me! I somehow feel like maybe I can finally work on moving past it. I would have loved to hear your speech.

    Like

  29. Jen Kinkade Avatar

    I was all IN this post from the beginning, but what really got me was this…”I could not do it and move on, happy in my comfortable bubble. Or I could do it. Pop the bubble and suddenly find myself in a larger more exciting space.”
    It totally resonated with me when I was once making a creative decision in my life.
    Needless to say, I popped the bubble and found myself in a larger, more exciting space!!
    right on!! 🙂
    Congratulations!!!

    Like

  30. Sandi Keene Avatar

    Printing this out and putting it on my night stand. To read until it sticks. Love this. You ARE awesome (now I am quoting Michelle in the comments!).

    Like

  31. Kellie Winnell Avatar

    I loved reading this and like many have said already, it’s the fear, the not knowing, the fear of failing that makes a lot of people, me included in so many ways, play it safe and sometimes safe isn’t always the answer, sometimes if we go out of the comfort zone we set ourselves like you say, pop that bubble, it can open up so many more doors that we would never had walked through, had we not taken the leap. Very inspiring Elise…

    Like

  32. Brandy J Avatar
    Brandy J

    Great post! I’m sure your speech rocked 🙂

    Like

  33. Jemma M Humphreys Avatar

    I love these posts, I can’t wait to hear your speech! You do fantastic work, and your writing always captivates me. Great job and congrats for having this opportunity!

    Like

  34. casie Avatar

    That quote is amazing and going up in my office as I type! I am so on board with the comment, I don’t care about your almost – SO true! You rock Elise and I can’t wait to read parts 3 and 4. The way you can articulate your thought process is incredible.

    Like

  35. Steffie van den Akker Avatar

    I love it, too! Great sentence to put on a new make29 item! 😀

    Like

  36. Steffie van den Akker Avatar

    I’ve been following along for a while now but haven’t commented yet. That will change. Your blog is so inspiring, and this post is one of my favorites yet. There are so many great things you say, people will start quoting you! Thank you so much for sharing!

    Like

  37. Stacie Avatar
    Stacie

    Didn’t know if you knew or not but the Becoming Minimalist blog mentioned your speech at WDS in a post. It’s a nice post, look it up 🙂

    Like

  38. Mel Blackburn Avatar

    This is so very inspiring. I agree, life is about taking risks and pushing yourself to try something new. I’ve learned that this past year, I almost passed up a too good opportunity because I was scared, now I’m so glad I didn’t, it was worth being scared and taking a chance. I’m glad you enjoyed your speaking opportunity, I wish I could have been there to see you in person. Congrats!

    Like

  39. Michelle Avatar

    Excellent thoughts. Thank you!

    Like

  40. Ashley | StyleOnHigh Avatar

    Wow! I’m so impressed with all of this. I’m pretty fearless but public speaking terrifies me! I wonder if I could be as brave as you if it came up. I can’t wait to read the rest! Congrats! 🙂

    Like

  41. Kristen Avatar
    Kristen

    What Carrie Anderson said above! I copied and pasted YOUR quote before Amy’s. 😉 “This goes along with my theory about how “nobody cares about almost.” I don’t want to know about what you almost did. Or almost tried. I want to know about what you did. I want to know about what you tried. “Oh, you failed spectacularly? Awesome.” I am so much more interested in that than your story about how you didn’t fail because you only thought about trying.” ~ Elise

    Like

  42. Mackenzie Avatar
    Mackenzie

    You were so smart to expand your initial message because, you’re right, “making stuff” is about more than being creative, and making a bold statement IS a scary and sometimes painful experience.
    I love the two paragraphs about “Allowing yourself to be vulnerable and put your goal, wish, ambition out there. It’s scarier than it sounds, laying it out there. Because as soon as you say it, it might not happen and then there is this fear that someone will know you failed.”
    My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for 4 years now. I was so excited in the beginning that I told anybody who would listen that we were ‘trying.’ As the months and then years went by, people slowly stopped asking about it and got real quiet on the topic… It has been a heartbreaking experience, and when the process started getting emotionally hard, I thought, “WHY did I tell people?? Now everyone knows that I am failing miserably at this thing that is the most natural thing in the world…” But through this multi-year attempt at “making stuff” I have realized that I am not the only one who has ever had difficulty getting pregnant! I have heard other women’s stories of struggle that I never would have been aware of if I had only trusted my Facebook feed. When you put your own story out there, others open up to you about theirs.
    So thank you for spreading the message that it is okay to try and fail, and who cares who knows it?! Good luck to you in the coming years – I’m sure you will be giving many more speeches and writing many more insightful posts. 🙂 I look forward to reading them!

    Like

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