enJOY it

an archived personal and craft blog from Elise Blaha Cripe.

Babyfaqs

I really do not write about "baby stuff" as often as I thought I would. Mostly it's because I really enjoy that I have a job outside of being a parent that allows me to do and write about so many different things. And, of course, it's because I am raising my daughter with Paul, not 92,000 opinionated strangers on the Internet. 😉 But because I am sort of mum (pun intended) about a lot of random parenting things here, I end up fielding a ton of questions on Instagram and via email so I thought I would just post a big "baby" FAQ that I can link to in the future.

The biggest thing to note is that all of this is just what works for me, Paul and Ellerie. I am an expert in exactly nothing. I just refuse to sweat the small stuff (my first motto is real problems vs. pretend problems) and try to do the best for me and my baby. I would even take this a step further and say I don't even recommend anything here. This is our experience with Ellerie and will no doubt look completely different with any future kiddos.

On a "sleep schedule." for the most part Ellerie has slept through the night from seven weeks on. We did nothing remarkable to make this happen. I never got blackout shade or invested in a white noise machine or read about sleep training or sleep methods. We won the lottery and our baby sleeps. We put her down awake, full and dry around 7pm every night and she wakes up happy around 7am every morning. I'd say every 2-3 weeks she'll wake up in the middle of the night (either because of a loud noise, or she's the wrong temp or she's hungry) and when she does we change her and feed her and put her back down. In a perfect world, she'd take two naps a day – a short one in the morning and a long one in the afternoon. More often than not, these days we get three cat naps each day. I don't fret about this. It's all going to even itself out eventually. People like to joke that our second kiddo is never going to sleep ever and no doubt they are correct, but that's not stopping me from enjoying this kid who sleeps.

Babyfaqs6photo by Tara Whitney

On milk. Oh man, I had such grand ideas about what breastfeeding would be like. While I anticipated it being hard physically in the beginning, I thought for sure that I would just LOVE it. I think I was prepared for the initial pain (sort of, it was intense) but I was not prepared on any level for the mental challenges that for me came with breastfeeding. I didn't like it. I felt like I was drowning. The day we switched from feeding at the breast to pumping and bottlefeeding (six weeks in) a giant weight lifted and I finally felt like I could do this. I could keep going. For other moms, I have heard that the exact opposite is true; breastfeeding pulls them out of baby-blues and helps them see the light at the end of the tunnel. That's so awesome and I am so glad that most people don't struggle like I did. I have pumped and bottlefeed Ellerie breastmilk exclusively for seven months. I've pumped anywhere from four to nine times a day depending on what my production is like, our schedule and how much she's eating. We follow the 5-5-5 rule with expressed milk… 5 hours out of the fridge, 5 day in the fridge, 5 months frozen. Not going to lie, it's such an incredible hassle but we are making it work and the good news is we are all thriving (physically and mentally).

Babyfaqs5

On food. Ellerie has been eating baby food from about 5.5 months on. We feed her "dinner" in her highchair and she loves everything we give her. She didn't digest rice cereal or oatmeal as well as I would have liked so we stick to just pureed fruit or veggies right now. At this point in our lives, I find it easier to buy my baby food (the stuff that's just a mix of veggie/fruit and water without any extra preservatives or sweeteners) instead of making it and so guess what…we buy it. (My second motto is don't make this harder than it needs to be.)

Babyfaqs3

On cloth diapering. We use 19 bumgenius elemental cloth diapers. There's so much already online about cloth diapers so have nothing to add but here are two posts (one & two) that I referred to when I was waiting for the baby.

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On all the stuff. Early on I wrote a post about newborn essentials. Hilariously at 8.5 months in we still use every single thing on this list (Ellerie still sleeps with her legs in the swaddle bag, arms free). The only big things I would add: our Stokke highchair (with infant seat), Bob stroller, Bobby shopping cart cover and our Ergo (with strap cover teething pads). That's really all we need.

On a baby book. Ellerie does not have a traditional baby book. When she turns one I am going to combine the dear ellerie letters and a ton of photos into a digital photobook and that will be it.

On parenting books. I read Great with Child and Bringing Up Bebe (loved them both!) before Ellerie was born and have not cracked a parenting book since. I know nothing about various methods or stages. Reading about how my baby should act or what I should be doing stresses me out, so I just don't read any of the books and take things a day at a time. (related, I am preparing a post about our favorite children's books.)

On what I wish I'd done differently. The number one "regret" I have is that I didn't invest in a great, comfortable rocker/glider. The ones that look good (that I wanted to own) are expensive and I couldn't justify the cost. I think that a comfy chair would have made a difference during those middle of the night feeding sessions and could have been what helped me push through with nursing. I intend to try breastfeeding again if and when we have a second kiddo and I will make this purchase.

Babyfaqs4

On the whole thing. Parenthood is so hard. There are about 1000 things to think about each day and then 1 million things to consider if you allow your mind to wander to the future. Before I had my baby, I had all sorts of thoughts and theories and opinions about what I would be like as a mom and how it's "best" to raise kiddos. Then on June 20 my baby was born and my world turned upside down and my life as I knew it exploded into million pieces. As I've put the pieces back together (to form a brighter, better picture), I have learned that all I can do is slowly find what works for my family. So my message for new moms has nothing to do with diapers or food or milk or sleep, while it doesn't seem like it now, that stuff is temporary. Instead, know this :You're doing an amazing job. You are already exactly who you need to be for your baby. Just keep swimming and don't be afraid to ask for help.

I am leaving the comments section open in this post but please remember there are many other forums online to debate pros and cons of breastfeeding, sleep schedules, transitioning to solid food and cloth diapering. There are 6 billion ways to raise a healthy, happy child. I respect your way and I appreciate that you respect mine.

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80 responses to “FAQs / baby edition.”

  1. molly Avatar
    molly

    This is so lovely, Elise!! As a mama in your first year, you have an incredible amount of grace and confidence, and I LOVE your mottos 🙂 Thank you for sharing! Congratulations on your joyful, thriving family xoxo

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  2. Christine Avatar
    Christine

    Nicely said. 92,000? Wow..

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  3. Filiz Avatar

    Oh man, I couldn’t agree more! I still struggle to tune out all the “mom noise” on the Internet, it’s something I really need to work on. My son is not an easy baby so I often find myself feeling really helpless and at a loss for finding “what works.” I end up turning to the Internet and getting lost in all the advice. Sigh… I hope to find my confedence in motherhood one day. Thank you for sharing your story and for being calm in all the chaos.
    http://www.marmaramaiden.com

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  4. Deirdre Avatar

    Loved this post, and loved your little footnote to the internet. I want to applaud every time I read something that isn’t presented as THE ONE AND ONLY WAY—so this little comment is my way of clapping:)

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  5. Marianne Avatar
    Marianne

    Well said, Elise. Ellerie is so lucky to have you and your husband as parents. It is all about teamwork.

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  6. Jennifer Benc Avatar
    Jennifer Benc

    HI there…love this post…my daughter (only child but that’s a whole other story) turned 11 yesterday. I too did not like breastfeeding (and went thru horrific post partum depression) but unfortunately, I listened to my midwives instead of my gut and she never NEVER took a bottle, regardless of whether it was breastmilk or one of the many formulas we tried. I ended up breastfeeding until she was 13 months old but after about 9 or 10 months, it was just a bedtime feeding. She went from me to a sippy cup. It was hard. And the depression didn’t help for the first 6 months. As much as I love her, there were many times, I felt trapped and yes, resentful because my life and body was not my own.
    I knew then and now that it would not last forever but after going thru it and the beauty of hindsight, I firmly believe that a parent has to do what is best for them, for their baby, for their relationship with their spouse/partner and for their family. I firmly believe that if mom is not ok, no one is ok. It sounds selfish and I have been told that I am but I learned the hard way to take care of myself first because otherwise I cannot take care of anyone else.

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  7. TracieClaiborne Avatar

    I just love you. You know…my daughter is 13 and the worst moment of my mothering was one night when she was a newborn (like less than a week old), I was nursing her and had just finished and she would not stop crying. I hadn’t slept much so my poor husband walked the floor with that child for FIVE HOURS until she stopped. Turns out, she hadn’t gotten enough for her little belly and was hungry. When I think of it now, I still cry although she’s happy and healthy at 13 and has no memory of it but I do. It NEVER OCCURRED to me to pump and then feed her from a bottle. No one ever even suggested that that was an option and I just listened to the Dr. and the breast feeding people at the hospital and read books about it. I wish now that I would have pumped and been able to see what she was or was not getting. I guess her little mouth couldn’t suck hard enough? I don’t know but just reading this has been eye-opening, even 13 years later. I’m glad you shared that info because you never know it might help someone who isn’t thinking, like me. When you’re sleep deprived, you don’t think clearly!!

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  8. Sheila Avatar
    Sheila

    Ellerie sounds just like my first – a catnapper who slept all night and refused to nurse! Then number 2 was the complete opposite – marathon napper, up all night and refused the bottle. And we did NOTHING different. I think you’re doing the best thing possible – listen to your instincts and not what people say you ‘have’ to do.

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  9. Annie Avatar

    I love reading about other women that exclusively pump. I’ve been just pumping and feeding breastmilk by bottle for almost 4 months and it’s encouraging to hear that I’m not the only one!
    I needed to read this post…I love when my daily blog reads match up with my real life! Thank you for posts like this!

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  10. Michelle McKean Avatar
    Michelle McKean

    Loved this post Elise.

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  11. debra Avatar

    The parenting world is full of contradictions but often the best advice comes straight from your instincts. All the parenting arguments are getting so boring. Breast or bottle, cloth nappies or disposable nappies, lone sleeper or co-sleeper, stay at home mum, working mum or somewhere inbetween mum… these are all choices for each ‘individual’ family, all which can and do work for each ‘individual’ family. All that really matters is that we have happy, healthy babies, by whatever methods we choose. Great post!!!

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  12. Emma Avatar
    Emma

    Love 🙂

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  13. Jill Avatar

    When I stopped breastfeeding the clouds parted, I stopped crying daily, and the relief I felt made me human again. Thanks for being honest about your experience, I hope all moms-to-be and new mama’s read this post and understand that it’s OK if it doesn’t work for them! I was lucky I had a pediatrician who was encouraging of me doing what I needed to do for both myself and my girlie, who just turned two. Thanks for being real, honest, and just so awesome!

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  14. Lara Avatar

    This was such a fun post to read! I have a six month old daughter – we are right behind you. I totally agree that you should not overread! I STRESSED myself out so much the early months about sleep. She still is not the best sleeper, but I know that this stage will pass, and IT’S OK. I have reminded myself many times what you wrote early on after Ellerie – that you were trying to be a zen mama to have a zen baby. 🙂

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  15. Elaine Avatar

    I love the not reading any of the baby books because of the stress! 100% agree!

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  16. becky h Avatar
    becky h

    Loved the post. I have always been of the mind that you are your child’s best parent. You know them better than anyone so go with what works for you. Never could breastfeed my 3 kids, turned out great on formula.

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  17. jaimee h Avatar
    jaimee h

    I will say thank you for being so open and sharing your thoughts and feelings. Every mama is different, every child is different….you do what’s best for your family. There are a million and one ways to be a good parent and E looks pretty happy and healthy, so I would say you are succeeding as a parent. 🙂

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  18. Andrea Avatar

    Elise, I’ve been following your life with Ellerie with great interest and I have to say just one thing. I admire you and every woman (and and their partners, of course) who have the courage to take this adventure with kids. I don’t have kids myself yet and while I am sure I want to have some one day (or in the next couple of years) the very same thought kreeps me out at the same time. Thank you very much for sharing your experiences so often and being honest about the hard times, too.

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  19. Jennifer Wetherell Avatar
    Jennifer Wetherell

    I’m a new reader, and going to be a new mom sometime in June (My due date is actually June 20). Thanks for the down to earth advice. There’s so much information out there, and so many opinions on everything, it’s refreshing to hear something so full of grace for the unexpected.

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  20. BillyeJean Avatar

    Enjoyed your blog… found it to be so on it. I have 4 healthy wonderful adult children. I am 75, never breast fed any of them but have no problem with those that do. Every one of them was different and I enjoyed them all didn’t read many books on what to do, did what seemed to be best for all of us at the time,food, sleep etc. Great read. Thanks.

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  21. Welcome Home Taylor Avatar

    I don’t have little ones myself, but I think these tips are all great to keep in mind. I love hearing the different ways to raise children, especially babies. I’m not sure what will work for me when the time comes, but it’s so good to read some advice from someone who seems like such a great momma!
    xoxo
    Taylor
    http://www.welcomehometaylor.com

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  22. Misti Avatar

    I appreciated this post a lot! I’m currently 15 weeks along and haven’t even waded into the post-birth reading yet. I’m glad you posted about the cloth diapers…very interested in those.

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  23. Hagit Avatar

    Thanks for sharing, I appreciate how honest you are, and enjoy reading you as a mama no less than as a crafter/scrapbooker/entrepreneur, it’s always a pleasure!

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  24. Mila Avatar
    Mila

    I don’t know if it’s because I’m expecting and hormonal, but those last italized words brought tears to my eyes… My biggest fear is not being a good Mom. I am not even worried about labor just thinking about how I can be the best Mom for my baby.

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  25. Heather Avatar

    I am 17 months in to mamahood and I absolutely love this post. When my son was 10 months old he lost interest in breast feeding. I was SO attached to making it to a year and today I am grateful that I didn’t. I was able to stop stressing so much about it and just enjoy my baby. Everyone’s process and experience is so different and I love being inspired from other mamas but know that I am fully equipped. We are all amazing! xo!
    P.S. One thing I am wondering, have you ever done a post on how you journal or record life on the daily? I am finding days are getting away from me and when I sit down to do Project Life, I don’t always have the stories. Taking a lot of pictures helps connects the dots, but I’d like to get into some kind of “practice”

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  26. Kim Avatar

    I love that you are so real! Thanks for that!

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  27. Jess Avatar
    Jess

    You, Elise, are a superwoman for pumping for 7 months! What amazing dedication! Thanks so much for sharing the 5-5-5 rule; such an easy way to remember! And I can’t wait to hear what books you and Ellerie love to read. My little guy’s favorites are “10 Little Ladybugs” and “The Little Blue Truck”. : ) He’s two months younger than Ellerie so I appreciate reading about your motherhood journey and Ellerie’s newest abilities, knowing what I have to look forward to with Wyatt! Hope you both are having a wonderful day!

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  28. Michelle Avatar

    This is great – and how wise to know that every child is different and WE are different as we grow and evolve in our parenting: you don’t have to do things the same way the 2nd time around … I read very few books prior or during. I just skip around the blogosphere as it suits me. Congrats to you and your fam!

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  29. Mikaela Avatar

    Thank you for being so open and writing this post. I am currently pregnant with my first baby and due early June. I have enjoyed following Ellerie and your journey and imagining what life might be like for me in 12 months time.
    On another note – I’ve just about finished an equilateral triangle baby quilt that I was inspired to make after seeing the baby quilt you made for Ellerie!

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  30. Melody Avatar
    Melody

    Beautifully said! My babies are now 19 and 22 so my recollection of those long ago days is faint. We all do the best that we can do and whoooooosh – they’re grown and gone. Enjoy each moment as best you can!

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